My Stepdad Doesn't Love Me Anymore
My memories have been scarred for life, thanks to the man I used to call “Dad.” He was actually my stepdad, but I never really thought of him as a “step”—from as far back I could remember, he was always just “Dad” or “Daddy.” And he was a great dad, too. He’d cheer me on from the sidelines at soccer games, take me to dance lessons and swimming practice, and even help out in my classroom at school. I loved him very much, and when I was little, I knew I could count on him to be there forever.
My mom and stepdad divorced when I was seven. They’d been separated for a few years at that point, so the divorce didn’t seem like a big deal. I was already used to him not living with us, and I didn’t think the divorce would change anything. And it didn’t, at first. My stepdad still picked me up every Wednesday night so we could go visit his parents—my Nanny and Grandpa—and we still spent every Sunday together. In the morning we’d go to church, and then afterwards we’d do something fun, like go to the park, or to a dog show, or to the theater to see shows like Arthur and Blue’s Clues. And every Sunday night when he dropped me off, he’d tell me that he loved me and that he’d always love me. He was my dad, and nothing could change that…or so I thought.
Everything Changes
I was wrong. Not long after the divorce, things did start to change. My stepdad had a girlfriend, Stephanie, a nice lady who taught piano. I really liked Stephanie, and I thought she liked me, too. She taught me how to do a cartwheel, and how to play a few notes on the piano. But as things got more serious between them, Stephanie stopped being so nice. She didn’t want my stepdad to take me places on Sundays anymore, so for a while the three of us would just spend time together at his house. Then he started cancelling our plans, saying he had things he had to do. There were even times when he just didn’t show up to pick me up when he was supposed to.
My stepdad never came right out and told me that he wanted to end our visits—he just gradually pulled away more and more. He never explained why, either. I wanted to ask him, but I was too afraid. I thought he was pulling away because he was mad at me for some reason. It was so confusing, because I couldn’t figure out what I’d done wrong. I wanted to ask him, but I was afraid that if I said anything, he’d get even madder and want to see me even less. Instead, I just kept quiet and tried really hard to be good so that he would still love me.
I could tell that Stephanie wanted him to pull away, and sometimes I blamed her. When I was at his house, she’d tell him not to let me do this, or not to give me that, and she wouldn’t let us go places on Sundays anymore. It was pretty obvious that she didn’t want me around…period. But I was more upset with him. Why didn’t he say no to her? I was his daughter before he even knew her! Didn’t he love me enough?
No Stepdaughters Allowed
My stepdad and Stephanie ended up getting married. When I first found out about the wedding, I kept asking if I could go. My stepdad would say things like, “I don’t know when it will be,” which really confused me. How could he not know when his own wedding was? Eventually I figured out that they just didn’t want me there. And once they were married, they wanted me around even less. When they had a baby, I asked to see her. The answer was no. They wouldn’t even give me a picture for my scrapbook.
My stepdad had been paying child support for me, but he wanted to stop paying, so he and my mom ended up in court over it. My mom said we could also fight for my right to continue seeing him, if that was something I wanted. In some ways I did, but after thinking long and hard about it, I decided not to. I didn’t know how to make him love me like a daughter again, and there was no way it would ever be like it was, no matter how much I wished it would be.
Once I made the decision not to see my stepdad anymore, our relationship was over. I’d like to say I’ve gotten over it, too, but that’s not really true. I think I’ll always carry some of that hurt with me, like a little rock stuck in your shoe that you can’t shake out. But I do understand some things better now. For one thing, I know that what happened wasn’t my fault. My stepdad pushed me out of his life because he wasn’t strong enough to deal with a complicated family, not because I wasn’t a good enough daughter.
Right now, it’s hard to imagine that I’ll ever be able to think about my stepdad and not feel angry and hurt. But I also know that I’m really lucky. I have a great mom, and I know she’ll always be there for me. And I know I’m strong, not like my stepdad. For a few years now, I’ve been involved in synchronized swimming, and I’m one of the top swimmers on a team that competes at the national level. All that hard work has helped to give me lots of self-confidence and taught me to believe in myself. Sometimes I feel really sad when I see other girls’ dads cheering them on. But then I think, That’s his loss. My stepdad didn’t turn out to be the kind of person I needed him to be, but I’m not going to let that stop me from being the best person I can be.
The Worst Day
Have you ever had a terrible day, week, month, or year—got through it—and learned something? Help other girls get through their tough situations by sharing your story.
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Thank you for helping my daughter to not blame herself!
This identical situation recently happened to my 9yo daughter after her father and I divorced. She kept thinking that she was to blame somehow. Thank you for your part in helping her see that this abandonment was not her fault! I am grateful for your honesty and courage in writing this.
WORST DAY EVER
that story was very sad but if he dosent want you around then he dosent deserve a daughter like you and you should try to get over it as much as possible
I am SO sorry!!!
I am very lucky to have parents who love me and want to be with me as muchn as possible. But i have never even thought what might happen if they got divorced and one of them never wanted to see me again!!! I am so glad that you have a good mother who loves and wanted you to have a choice on weather or not you wanted to see him again! I hope that things will start to get better and who knows; mabey your mother will marry a great new guy who will want you around!!! You are really cool!!!!!!!!!!
—Tracy!!!!!!!!!! LOL
I am so glad that my story
I am so glad that my story has helped you daughter. Although it was hard for me to have to put my emotions into words, I did it so it would help others understand that its not their fault and eventually you will come to realize that its no ones fault…. it just happens
That sounds harsh!!!
Wow I can’t belive that your stepdad would do something like that! In my opinon you were right about not wanting to see him anymore. I mean if you had, he’d probably be pretty unpleasant that the matter had been taken to court. He would still see the great kid you were but, he would be pretty mad. I felt so sorry for you when I read that, but like you said he wasn’t your total life.
me too
my real dad did that to me. i know how you all feel! it hurts! its not your fault. its my dads fault!
i almost cryed
OMG i found that story to be so sad. It seemed like you and your dad had a great friend ship, but unfortunetly your dad wasnt who you thought he was. I almost cryed reading this, i put myself i your situation in my mind, and i could not have been as strong as you. You have such a great attitude and you should be proud of yourself. Life can be harsh sometimes, but its a harsh world. You seem to be a really strong girl and for that you are a great role model, to me, and probably lots of other girls out there reading this story.
-Em:^)
i actually cryed
i actually cryed when i read that story. i would never expect my dad to do that to me. that was the saddest story i ever heard.
i agree
i agree with the girl befor me. i almost cryed!!!!nunp
YOU ARE SO INSPIRING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think you are so inspiring!!!!!! I think you should fight for your rights to see him! Its really Stephanie’ fault. She convinced him.I feel so bad for that baby! She has to have parents like that!
oh sweetie
I had the smae thing happen to me with my dad When he and my mum divorced he stopped comming to vist for a long time until he moved to colarodo for a year but I understand now that it was a bad time in his life he didnt want to expose me or my sister to I forgave him and I know he loves me very much deep deep down your step dad loves you to.
WOW!
I didn’t know moms went on this site to! Thats kind of cool. And I am glad about ur daughter!
SORRY!!!
I have NEVER thought what it would be like to have a parent stop loving you!!! It must be really hard! Sometimes my parents fight, but they always end up laughing about it. Mabey things will turn around and you might even get a new dad. When I was younger and my parents faught, I would cry and sometimes even scream! Now I don’t even care though. I bet your story has helped other girls get though what you went though. You are REALLY brave!!!
Rachel
i'm sorry
it must be so hard to be pushed out of your stepdad’s life.if that was me when i asked to see the baby, i’d go home and cry my eyes out! i don’t think i could handle it.my life would have ended the moment my dad didn’t want me in or at the wedding.your strong for not breaking down!
from madeline
The Worst Day Ever
I thought the the story that you wrote was very sad because I’ve had extreme losses in my life as well. and it’s really hard to get over them and live like they aren’t there. I thought it was it was really great that you decided to share your story but not so peaple could feel sorry for you. you shared it because yoou wanted other girls who go through the same problems can have a help guide. thanx for sharing your story!
Emily
OMG!!
OMG!!!! I would just like to tell the author of this story that although she has been through a lot, her mother and God still love her! I hope she knows that her friends are there for her! Remember, you can always pray if you need someone to talk to!
Hi
Your story was very interesting. I thought that maybe it would have a happy ending, and you guys would reuite, but when I kept reading, I later found out it stayed the same. But the only advice I could say is; Don’t give up, a father-figure will come in your life, don’t lose hope, the whole world’s rooting for you!
Truly,
Lydia
I’m so sorry that this
I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I gues this just proves that you always have to look ahead, because after something bad happens, there’s always something good planned for you around the corner. I’ll pray for you!
With Much Love,
Eileen
Stay Strong
I am soooo sorry that this has happened to you!
My parents have gotten divorced as well. It was very hard at first, and still can be, but now I can’t imagine them living together. My dad now has a girlfriend, but she and I have gotten along pretty well so far.
Taylor
Wow!
What you did was amazing! It must have been truly hard to see someone you admire so much to just slip away! However, don’t blame yourself that it is because of you that he slipped away. You want to keep him as your stepdad and that’s a determined and bold thing to do! Your story has inspired so many girls that are facing sorrows today!! Keep on being strong!
wow you are strong!
you are strong! i kind of under stand…. but not realey. you see i never knew my dad and i am not shure why but my loves me more then eney thing in the world. i know this becouse when she realised that she could not take cair of me much longer she asked around the familey if some one could adopt me. my grate ant sead she could and so i movied from new mexico to texas to live with my grate ant at hte age of 3 i am now 13 and in a stable and happy home! and i do not cair that i do not have a man living with us it is fun to have onley ladies in the house. so as Lydia’s leter is nice and incurigind for you. you will grow up just fine if your mom does not get re-mareied. and that ‘pebel in your show’ will never go away but it will become smaller and you will get use to it eventulie.
Mariah
This is so sad. I’ve had a
This is so sad. I’ve had a lotta bad times in my life, but not as bad as this one! It was kinda inspirational. Get through with things. Move on.Enjoy your life, people!! Natasha
Your heart will forgive
Do something that gives you energy. It will get your heart pumping. It will take all the tears away from your heart. It will dry out.
Kristina
This is so sad! I can’t
This is so sad! I can’t believe your step-dad would want to miss out on great and fun experiences with such a wonderful girl like you! Good job for not letting it totally get you down! And remember, God will never leave you, even though your step-dad did. God will always be by your side looking after you! I hope things work out for you!
~Rosy
That Was So Real!
I know what is wrong, I have a real dad and a step dad. Unstead of my step dad pushing me away it is my real one! Thank you for you’re story! I can realate!
Sincerely, Cassidy 11, AL
divorced parents
When I was one, my parents divorced, and I went to live with my mom. When I was four, my mom had to give me to my dad. I now only hear from my mom when she calls. In the mean time, my stemom hates me and treats me like nothing. If someone has a stepparent that once loved them, they are lucky.
Divorce
That is a very hard thing you went through! my parents got divorced when i was in the third grade. my dad had been cheating. We found out two weeks before easter! Even though they got divorced and my dad had a girlfriend, i am still able to see him… actually, I am writing from his house. lol! i can’t imagine not being able to see my dad! i would miss him soo much even if he did yo me what your dad did yo you!
that's sad
I’m so sorry to hear this story! My parents got divorced, too. I also had a hard time going through it. After the divorce, I lived with my mom after a year, when I was ten, my mom had a boyfriend. When I heard this news, I got really upset at my mom. I felt like slamming the door on her face. After two months or so, my mom got married to her boyfriend. I hated my mom now. She didn’t even give me time to understand her boyfriend. I’m 14 now and I understand. My stepdad is awesome! Just give yourself some time.
wow
I fell really bad for all kids who go through anything like that. I don’t know if I could be that strong. You people are true heors!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Paige
this is sad
I know that that is hard to go throught though i have never expericenced but both my parents did! My moms parents divorced and my dads mom died. Just remember many others are going through the same thing.
I think that your story was
I think that your story was good. Not like a movie, but a story that makes you think. I know what it is like I have a step mother. But she is constantly pulling me toward her, and I just want to pull away. She only wants my dad for herself, but she wants me and my brother too.
I am really srry for what
I am really srry for what your stepdad did to you and i think you’re right, it is his loss.
that is sssssssssssssssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddddd
Im sorry but stay strong and at least you have youre mom!
Wow!
My Dad is great and to think about that that could be true in someones life right now its too much to take in!
wow
i am happy that you stayed strong!!! this is a good example for all girls!
Inspiring
This story is so inspiring to me. Even though I havn’t gone through anything like this, I know this is such a powerful story to other girls my age. You are a very strong person!
Best Wishes Jaime
so sad
I feel so sorry for you. I kind of know how you feel because my dad can’t always go to my soccer games. It will be O.K. Just know that you are being the best that you can be.
stepdaughter
hey I kind of know how you feel because my dad is getting serious with this lady that doesn’t like kids so I think when and if they get married we won’t be able to see my dad and if we do it will have to be when she isn’t there. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
Talk to someone you know will understand!
I read this in the magazine. There’s teardrops all over the page. I’ve been in a situation simmaler, but not as bad. I think that your stepmother shouldn’t of taken your dad away. But that is life, sad. cry I wish everyone loved eveyone, and that the world was all happy! Talk to someone you know will understand when you need to, like a best friend, your mom, god. Your dad is a little harder to talk to, (those who have one, not the author) since boys tend not to understand everything girls go through. Just talk to someone. And remember that life dosn’t always work out as you want it to!
♥ Love, Courtney
faith
you’ve gotta believe! keep going on, like youre doing now! Don’t forget that you’re not alone, and that there will always be people who go through something worse!
Stay Strong
Your story was really touching. I think a similar thing is happening to my friend, and I will tell her your story. All I can tell you is to stay strong and don’t let him get to you.
well....
Thats so sad :( you must be so sad about that whole thing ..That’s a tough One but dont worry it’ll pass when you get Older And besides there’s always hope for you and dont forget to take your pride with you…. (remember there’s always hope )
My step dad does not love me anymore
That is a really really really sad story. I think that because my dad is very important to me and I would be very sad if that happened to me and my dad. I am glad that you got over it. If that happened to me it would take years for me to get over.
OMG
Wow! I bet this was very hard on this girl. I am sure girls who had delt with this promblem will be happy to know they are not alone! -BeatlesFan
I know how that feels
I know how it feels when your step perents don’t love you. But remember its there lost.
-Sarah CA
ohh I am so sorry
Wow that is just a very inspirering story!
I'm Sorry!
I’m so sorry about you and your stepdad. I don’t know how you feel but I know it must be hard. Just remember that you have a mom that loves you and friends that love you too! Good luck and best wishes, Macy, KS
i feel ur pain
OMG!!! thats so sad. it sounded like he really loved u then just turned away. u got through eeverything though, that really amazes me. sometimes a person cant handle that much but u pulled right on threw, ur some1 that girls could really look up 2. well keep living hard gf!!!!!!
stepdad doesn't love her
I think her step dad is kinda mean.Most of my friends have step dad and mom and they have never acted like her step dad so i feel really said for her!!!!!!
maybe so, but
her stepdad wasnt ALWAYS mean. he started when he remarried.
im sorry!!
you have been thru alot.just, dont keep ypur emotinons bottled up.talk to your mom about it.i would be feelin’ SO mad.
OMG
I think that is really unfair. I would think he stand up for you. I wouldn’t blame your dad fully though because it sounds like part of this is the stepmothers fault. So try not to stay mad at your dad forever… even if he did hurt you badly.
~Miranda~
I'm so proud of you !!
Wow, I’m so proud of you for doing so well to cope with a situation that you can’t control. I’ve been a child of divorced parents, felt abandoned by my mother, neglected by my father, even though I eventually realized it was because of their own issues , it still hurt, I still have scars as you do. But I do try to keep positive & take care of myself, as you are doing with your syncro. That is so good to hear. I’ve also experience being a stepmother now, and am sensitive to the emotional needs of my step children. It sounds like your step-dad may have been angry about having to pay child support, even biological dads don’t like it, and feel angry about it. My guess is that his new wife fanned the flames of that anger. I wiah people could put money issues aside & remember the people they love, and remember to love them. I hope your stepdad reads this article, and writes you a beautiful letter back. It may never happen, but I wish the beautiful feeling of healing love from my heart to yours. Best wishes !!
omg!!!!!
i couldnt belive the nerve the stephanie!!! but there ARE some people that arent fit out 4 kids your awesome to send somthing like that stay strong
caludia
You are strong
OMG that is so sad! It was NOT your fault at all. Your story has helped tons of girls! You are a strong young woman who is not letting what happened keep you from acheiving your dreams. Your stepdad probably deep down regrets what he did. Just remember that you have your mom to talk to; as well as God, who will never forsake you. YOU ARE A TRUE INSPIRATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
—-Emy
No Stepdaughters Allowed
I agree Emy. She’s a strong young woman who is not letting her stepdad keep her from achieving her dreams. And her stepdad should regret what he did because it’s not right to keep his stepdaughter out of his life unless if she decided what she did at first but still. And its true she can talk to God ,Jesus , Her Mom ,Maybe Her Best Friend or a consuler. All those people just want to help and make things better. Remember if you feel sad just think of the good things in your life like your mom , God, Friends. You will be my biggest inspriation of all times and forever! :)
Cierra
thats sooo mean!!!
you’d think he’d b a little bit more mature in this kind of situation….wow thats soooooo mean id b really mad….but im proud of u 4 being able 2 cope w/ this situation….srry that happened 2 u…:’(
Ohmygosh
That is so sad. Your father doesn’t deserve someone like you. I can’t believe him. Who would do something like that to their own child?
:]
your dad is a poptart. that really sucks.
my mom died a few years backk and i always thought my dad would remarry, luckly he didnt. i guess you can’t really control what happens. but you have a great mom and thats important.
you have every single right to be mad at your dad, and its great how swimming helps you. i do swimming to and it helps me deal with anger from my mom’s death
wow
That story is really sad, but i am pretty sure that you didn’t put htis story here so that people will feel sorry for you, you probably put this on here to sjow people what it is like to feel pain, what it is like to have someone that you love taken away rom you, waht that woman did to your step-dad wasen’t ight , if she loved him that much she woyld have let him see you, but your step-dad allowed her to do what she did, you didn’t deserve to get hurt like you did. but all in all you’ll be okay
Stepdads
I have a stepdad too. We get along perfectly, and knowing some like that can happed its just scarey!!
Your stepdad is just afraid to REAL FAMILY so thats why he ditch you!
Meghan
Sorry!
That must be terrible! Tell him how you feel maybe. That’s awful! I wonder why he all of a sudden turned so mean!
:-)
Brendynn
He was not a good father as
He was not a good father as you may have thought so. He lost something because of his selfishness. You have lost nothing at all but have gained courage and goodness. You are very strong and outgoing.
I'm sorry
i’m so sorry that happened to you. But you will always have your mom, and that’s the one thing every girl needs- her mom.
do the differently
Your stepdad is scare of having REAL FAMILY. But he had no right treating to you like that. If I was you would do some differently, like instead keeping all of your feelings inside I ask ” why are you so mean to me?”, and I would ask have why he didnt invited to his wedding. If he didnt give good a enough reason, stand up for yourself.
I just realized that my Dad
I just realized that my Dad is doing the same thing to me now that happened to you. Althought my parents got divorced years ago. Now that there both remarried my dad only sees me three days a week, and my stepmom hardly ever talks to me. Well she does when theres guests around. But thats really it. This week he said he was too busy for us to go to his house and this has happened before.
how awful!
Wow, you are strong! I can’t imagine going through somthing as awful as as that.
life isnt fair
its so sad when you have step parents or real parents that arent really nice to you but they cant get in trouble bcuz they arnt doing anything illegal
I'm soooooooooooooooooo sorry!
Life is so unfair! Just remember IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.
Allie <3
it happens
i dont know u but u seem really cool. i bet u stepdad regrets it and u dont know it wasen his chice probly. but poor him he missed out. and ull probly have a better dad come in to ur life. so dont give up hope!
good luck Sara :-0