I Had to Choose Between My Friends
Even before we became friends, I knew Tara, Baleigh, and Cassie weren’t always so nice. They loved to gossip, and if they didn’t like you, they’d be perfectly happy to turn everyone else against you, too. Tara was the leader. She decided who got picked on, but Baleigh and Cassie went along with it every time.
Still, I wanted to be friends with them—we always had so much fun together! We were so close, everyone at school called us “The Foursome.” Other girls looked up to us, and all the coolest boys liked us. I’d always been kind of popular, but this was different—and a lot better. When we walked down the hall together, I felt great.
One day Tara told us that we were going to target Evelyn, a girl I’d been friends with for a few years. Baleigh told me later that Tara hated Evelyn because Evelyn had “stolen” Tara’s boyfriend, Jacob. I think the real reason was that Tara was jealous because Cassie and I both really liked Evelyn. Tara and Evelyn had been good friends before, and now Evelyn wanted that friendship back. Tara didn’t.
Trashing Evelyn
Whatever the reason, we started making fun of Evelyn. She didn’t have very cute clothes, so we said she was poor. We called her “Evil Evelyn.” We got other kids to pick on her, too, and Jacob even broke up with her because of it! I felt bad, but mostly, I just tried not to think about it.
Then my birthday rolled around, and Tara told me not to invite Evelyn to my party. I was sick of Tara always trashing Evelyn, so I said, “She’s not as bad as you think. What if I want to invite her?” Tara told me I’d better shut up or I’d be “gone.; I shut up…and crossed Evelyn off my list.
A few days after I sent out the invitations, Evelyn asked me, straight out, if I was having a party. I really didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so I told her nicely that I was just too busy to have one. Then Evelyn reached into her pocket and held out an invitation—to my party!—that someone had dropped. I felt horrible. With tears in my eyes, I snatched the invitation out of her hand and walked away. I turned around just long enough to see Evelyn crying, which made me feel even worse. But I still couldn’t give up The Foursome.
Difficult Choices
I was so confused! I hated the way I was treating Evelyn, but Tara, Baleigh, and Cassie were my best friends. How could I risk losing them? Still, I couldn’t stop thinking about how Evelyn must feel. Finally, I decided I had to apologize. I told Evelyn I wanted her to come to the party. I thought she’d be happy, but instead she just said no, looking down at her feet with such a sad face I wanted to cry.
A little while later, our school chorus had a big performance, and Tara and Evelyn were doing a duet. Tara planned to stop singing mid-song so Evelyn would end up singing alone, which Tara knew Evelyn hated. Right before we started to sing, I tried to warn Evelyn. I told her not to sing loud, but since I didn’t say why, Evelyn sang extra loud just to make me mad. When Tara suddenly stopped, Evelyn’s voice shook a little, and then she stopped, too. I felt a little sick, watching her run offstage in tears as Tara and Cassie laughed.
Afterwards, Evelyn was angrier than I’d ever seen her. She’d put up with a lot from us, but this was different. I tried to tell her how sorry I was and that I’d wanted to warn her, but she didn’t want to hear it. She said she hated me and never wanted to see me again.
I guess Evelyn decided to give me another chance, though, because she accepted my apology a few days later, and even said she wanted to be friends again. But Baleigh was there, too. Afraid that she’d tell Tara or make fun of me, I said, “What?! I never apologized.” Then Baleigh and I ran off giggling, and hid from Evelyn in a bathroom stall.
That’s when it finally hit me: I always got along great with Evelyn when it was just the two of us. And even though I was horrible to her whenever Tara and Baleigh were around, she was always willing to give me another chance. I’d practically ruined Evelyn’s whole year, and why? For the friendship of some self-absorbed girls who weren’t nearly as nice as she was. I walked out of the stall, no longer caring what Baleigh thought.
Friends…Again
The next day, I told Evelyn how sorry I was, and that I was done being mean—for good. Much to my relief, she accepted my apology (again!). Even so, it took a few more months—and a lot more apologizing—before she truly trusted me again. But gradually, our friendship got stronger (and it’s still going strong today).
You know what the funny thing is? All that time, I thought Tara would dump me if I stood up to her, but that’s not what happened. When I told her I was friends with Evelyn again, she laughed at me. I said I was serious, and she got really angry, saying, “You’ll be sorry…” But that was it. I wasn’t kicked out of the group. Tara didn’t even end our friendship. Instead, it was more like she stopped having so much power over me—and Baleigh and Cassie, too. She didn’t suddenly become sweet and nice all the time, but when she got mean, we just ignored her. It was her problem, not ours.
Of course, all this drama taught me something important. Never again will I choose one friend over another to raise my social status. I made some dumb decisions that year, and I’m so glad I didn’t lose Evelyn’s friendship because of them. Even better, I learned that I can stand up to someone who is acting like a bully. And that’s really cool, because sticking up for a friend—and doing what you know is right—feels great. It’s even better than being popular!
The Worst Day
Have you ever had a terrible day, week, month, or year—got through it—and learned something? Help other girls get through their tough situations by sharing your story.
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wow
I thought tara would be like “Fine. bye.” when she told her ahe was friends with evelyn again, but I guess this one had a happy ending!!!
Re: wow
i did 2! Total mind mix. i’m happy for evelyn. i’m REALLY impressed that she would stil keep the friendship! that story is very cool.
YOU ROCK
i think that its real cool that u stood up to Tara. she was acting like a bully, and i’m glad that she is better now. you are so cool for standing up for Evelyn! you rock!
Great Job!
Awesome job in standing up for your friend! That was real big of you, girl! xoxo
Good Choice!!!!!
that was amazing wat u did!!!!!! i would be scared 2 death to talk to tara!!!!! GREAT CHOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I Agree
Ya that was good that you apoligized to your friend. But that was still really mean to make fun of her, think about how she must have felt! 4 People were harassing me at lunch this year and i just tried to ignore them but i still felt terrible! But they never apoligized, I would have felt alot better if they did. So good job apoligizing!
i agree
great what you did! i would be scared to death if i was you!
Great Choice!!!!!
OMG I almost have the same thing happening at my school with my friends. Its like I don’t know what to do but this story help alot. Thank you Great Choice about what to do it was the best yes hard but you keep a friendship that had started and will be friends forever.
Ann
tara
i would hav dropped tara so fast she would not hav time 2 say wait! no one picks on MY friends and gets away with it! plus why b in all the drama? it has 2 b tiring! and when someone finnaly tells the princpal or the parents u will be the blame 2! is it really worth it?
You did the right thing
I feel that you did the right thing because she was alot nicer then the other three. I want to tell you to keep making good choicies!
Great job!
Great job standing up to Tara. i thought she would just leave and make fun of u, but she didn’t! i wonder if i would have been able to apologize to evelyn. BUt you did the right thing so good job!
Choosing Between Friends
I’ve been through something kind of simliar, but not quite as bad as what you went through. I know how it feels when your friends don’t get along, I’ll tell you that. I feel so caught in the middle. So here’s what happened. I’ve hung out with these girls E.A.* , Paige* , and Mikayla* since 4th grade and we’re BFFs. They seem to have problems with each other. You see, Paige and Mikayla have complained about E.A. to me b4. Towards the end of the school year, E.A. told me that she didn’t want 2 b friends with them anymore b/c she didnt like how they treated her. I felt really bad for her b/c she was avoiding her problems rather than facing them. Honestly I dont know whos fault it is and I dont have all the details on the matter. But I know it would be so much better if we all sat down and talked everything over. that might make things better. What I did do was write E.A. a letter saying how i was sorry aobut how she felt and that she can talk to me if she wants and that she should talk about her feelings more. those kinds of things. I know what I’ve went through and am going through could be much worse and severe and i’m so thankful its not like that. But they are all great friends and I really want to do something to help. since we are going to different schools next year, i dont know if things can be worked out as easily. Any advise? please help!
—-Emy
Worst and meanist
When i was in second grade a girl named Ashley was soooo mean. She called people weird, stupid and idots everybody but one girl and when she talked about her Irish culture she would say ” Oh my God, Zoey you allways talk about stupid Ireland” and Zoey got so sad because it was a different story and the second time she talked about her culture and then Ashley went and said” Well anyway im from Mexico and im like so popular there and” then i cut her off and said” how come you made Zoey stop? She talked about her and then you call her weird and talk about you! your the weirdo who needs to stop.” and then everybody left. It was culture day so we talkedabout our culture but i stopped and looked back and i thought why would she do that to her freind? and then i ran to catch up with the group. I thought why and she was popular in the class but in the meaniss popular.
Caught Between a Rock and a Hard Place...
Emy~ I completely understand what you’re going through! I have two friends, whose names, let’s say for privacy reasons, are Amy and Tina. :) First of all, I’ve been friends with Tina forever! We are BFFs! Amy, on the other hand, isn’t exactly the nicest, most humble person I know. But I’m friends with her because our parents are friends. Tina does not like Amy at all, but because she’s such a nice girl, Tina’s nice to Amy anyway. The worst part is, we all dance in the same hula group, which makes life especially hard cause I’m always stuck in the middle of their catfights, gossip about eachother, and “Who’s better friends with me” arguments. My advice to you is: Avoid gossip! That’s the best thing you can do when you’re stuck between two friends because then you’re not blamed for anything. Also, don’t think you have to choose. If Paige and Mikayla continue to gossip and talk about E.A., just nicely say, “Look, I know you guys don’t like her, but she is my friend, even if she’s not yours.” If they get mad at you for being nice and stuff to E.A., maybe they’re not your real friends after all….
So I hope you get everything figured out. Doesn’t drama just stink?! :) ~Ashlee P.S. Write back! :)
Thanks
Thanks for your advise!!!!!!!! the thing is though, I’m not sure if Paige and Mikayla really hate E.A. Or at least I’m not sure if Mikayla does. I had told her what E.A. had said and Mikayla told me that she kinda regretted how she acted towards her; even tho E.A. showed off in sports and flirted with boys throughout the year. But Mikayla doesn’t know if she should apoligize and forgive or just let it go. How should this be handled??????
—-Emy
Jinx~to Emy
There the one’s that said that! You shouldn’t agree maybe you should stand up for E.A,I don’t know! It’s seem’s like your not in a “good group”. Think about it,do you know what a true friend is? They don’t talk about each other,and aren’t mean!(But she did say she regretted it!)
—Isabella
(please write back)
Just keep rolling on
I have the EXACT same problem! Year after year after year, my friends and I fight. I won’t mention names but Friend 1 used to hate friend 2 so bad i could hardly stand it! We’ve even practically broken up into 2 groups! I felt SO caught in the middle! Friend 3 seems that this year she is pulling away from me and Friends 1 & 2. I think you should just keep rolling on! Stand your ground! I just ignored my friends when they said bad things about each other! But I still kept on staying friends with each one! Even when friend 2 started pulling away from all of us. i feel like i know my friends each so well, i can’t give any of them up, especially since my school’s so small! You don’t get many friend choices! In the meantime, make some new friedn
Advice 2 u
Maybe you should try 2 talk 2 all your friends at the same so u can figure out what happened or u could just talk 2 them seperatly so theres no accussing any1
RE: Choosing between friends
ik it’s a little too late, but here’s my advice anyway: You should tell E.A that she should face her problems instead of avoiding them. You should also tell Mikayla and Paige that E.A is really a good person, and tell them to help solve the conflict. After that, don’t get in the middle of it (even if they want you to), it’s their problem, so it shouldn’t be yours, too, but it sounds like they need some help with this situation. So, help, then let them take it from there.
Good luck, Emy!
-minikenyan-
goooooooooooooood
that was a good desision to make!!!!!!!!!! that would be to hard for me!
——————-laura
you made it right
that was a awsome desision you made………….if i was you i would of lost both friends!!!!
~corinne
NEED HELP!!
i have a problem. i moved to a different school last year and this year my two friends are coming to the school. the problem is, my new friends are really kind of self-centered, but i rly love them like sisters. they’re honest and fun, although gossips. my two friends are really sensitive, and i don;t think they would get along with my new friends. but in my new school, its rly hard to make new friends, so i need to hang out with them. but if i hang out with them, my new friends will think i;m a geek since two years ago my old friends were kind of dorky. i love both of my friends but should i ditch my old friends and leave them hanging or should i stay with my popular friends? i have so many more popular friends, but i think my old friends could be better friends. i dont want to be popular, but i rly dont want to lose them! they arent just popular snobs, they’re rly nice but i always feel like they’re going to let me down. i’m rly confused and school is coming up!! ((nIcKi))
sorry
i read it too my freind and we almost cried. i felt bad tilly*******
Other Way Around
I know what Evelyn feels like! Jackie had been my best friend all my life and then she started hanging out with people who were mean to me. Finally they made me run off campus and I told my dad(the principal) the whole story. Unfourtunately after that Jackie never spoke to me again, but when other friends want you to pick on someone DONT DO IT!!!!!!!!!
Lauren speaks once again!
Hey guys, it’s Lauren from Missouri. I am so proud of her for making that desison. In my elementry school, we don’t have popular girls at our school… it’s to big. But we probably have “popular boys” In my grade. And one is my crush… ok! OFF TASK! Anyways, populars that are mean… stay away from them. they’re just there to hurt you, or you’re best friends… so yea. The mean ones. I don’t like being mean but sometimes i catch myself doing it. But anyways, I’m glad things all worked out. :) Bye!
-Lauren
Good Choice
That was a good choice. Sometimes people can be your bffs and you’ll also have good friends. You should never leave out of make fun of a girl to still be bffs with that girl. You did the right thing. In thta story you told me something and a lot of other girls i suspect not to chose a friend because their popular.
Good Choice
i had 2 go through this 2! i felt better when i went with my true blue BFF! u made the BEST CHOICE EVER!!!!!!! luvLori
What should I do?
I have a lot of friends!
I am good friends with these 3 girls, (initials) C, T, and A. But for some reason I like 2 of them better than the other one… even though she is a good friend and all…
I also am good friends with 3 other girls, (initials) C, C, and S.
Last year I was mostly with the C, C, and S. But this year, I have been with C, T, and A!
C, T, A, and me say a little of mean stuff about people… which I feel bad about, but most of it IS true! I have a good time with them, but I’m not sure if they like me as much as I like them….
I dont know how C, C, and S feel about me being with C, T, and A all the time!
I know how they feel kind of. We are having this book fair at our school (ending today!) and yesterday T said that this girl (initail) E stayed with her at the book fair the whole time (C’s mom is working there!) and I said, “Are you even friends with E?” and T said “I dont know, kinda, I guess.”
I dont know why, but I dont want them to be friends, even though I am friends with E!!!
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
my problem
there are these popular girls at my school (intitails:) E,S,C, and M. they are sometimes really mean but my other friend E is mean about them alot and theres this other girl, A, and she acts like she’s so mature but shes TOO mature cause she dosen’t have any fun cause everything is too immature for her. A acts like me and my friend S are complete ditzes, but we like to have fun!!! love leah
Okay
You should tell them to be a little nicer or you won’t be friends with them anymore.
Yah
Hi Do whatever you feel is right even if after you feel guilty. Claire P.S. Good Luck
i think you should stay
i think you should stay friends with the person you really have a better time with
good 4 u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i’m glad u decided 2 quit teasing evelyn. i felt so bad 4 her but then u turned the story right back around and did the right thing. evelyn seems like a pretty great person so hopefully u should become good friends. as 4 the others, they seemed pretty nice untill they started teasing evelyn. you want friends that a kind 2 u and respect ur opinions.
from, totally sweet sarah
why don't u ask ali!
don’t ask us! ask ali! -Bridget
Great choice!
Wow! that must have been horrible! I sort of went through the same thing. I wanted to be friends with this one girle her name was Celeste and I dumped all of my other friends! Even my Best friend! Which was not cool at all. My Bff told me that she didn’t like what I was doing and asked me if we could just stat over. I did and me and Celeste are friends but not as good. She is too mature for anything now and lies a lot. So Istill keep in touch. But now I have a whole new group of friends. And we accept anybody!
Samantha
Cool
OMg i would have been sooo stuck in that sit. that was good what u dId (:
Real Talk
I’m glad you apologized because every grade since second grade except for fourth grade, I have been made fun of. It hurts, but you have shake it off and let it go. Plus mean people are truly insecure with themselves. ( Even though you’ve been told that many times, it’s true)!
hey,girls
sometime life puts you in these “complicating” situations. but thats just life. sometime girls act “big and bad” to make other people small to make them look big. Its not always because there bad people sometimes its because there just not confident. don’t worry about it, though they will find themselves in time but for now support your friends and be the best YOU came be!!!!!!
xo
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.u are a great role model
You are awesome
I cant believe u turned against the popular girls. I mean i woukld not have the guts ever to do tht
Thanks! You rock!
Wow! I think that it’s fantastic that your friendship got stronger. Also, when I read that story, I could really relate to my own life. I have two really good friends (I changed the names) named *Olivia and *Jennifer. They aren’t the nicest people on earth. I have another good friend (I also changed the name) named *Dayna, who Olivia and Jennifer don’t like at all! They warned me that if I hang out with Dayna, they would stop hanging out with me and NOT be my friend anymore. It’s realy hard for me because I didn’t want to turn my back on Dayna, but I also didn’t want to lose my friendship between Olivia, Jennifer, and I. Finally, I tried to tell Jennifer and Olivia that Dayna is not that bad as a friend and that I would still hang out with her. At first, Olivia and Jennifer got really mad and stopped hanging with me for a week, but after a short while, we all got along much better, just like you and your friends! Thank you so much for that story! YOU ROCK!!
-CMC
P.S. I’m SOOOO happy for you that you didn’t lose your friendship - great choice!!!!
so sorry
Wow,I am so sorry about that.I hope that it never happens again,to anyone.That must have been really horrible for you!
Snotty girls i know
last year these girls were so snotty and told me to not hang out with them(except for one is one of my best friends!) and theyy rolled there eyes and stuff and then i pulled away and found a way to just not talk 2 them anymore. i even found new friendz that excepted me for who i am.
this was great!
This really has given me hope. I have a “freind’ that is the most popular in my class. She wants everyone to be her friend and if she is mad at someone she won’t want anyone to talk to them or be nice to them. Most of the time she is mad at two of my greatest friends Natalie and Taylor. ONe time she got mad at all three of us for playing a game that was our secret game.First she started yelling at Natalie and Taylor. Those two started yelling back. I wanted too yell at her too but I just couldn’t she used to be my friend and I had gotten so attached to her I just couldn’t let myself get her sad and ruin our freindship. Though now she is getting worse, I really now believe that I can be able to go up to her and tell her how much it means when she gets mad at my friends and me for no good reason. Now I am confident enough that I can go up to her and stand up for myself Thank you very much.
great choise
wow! It’s so brave of you to stand up for Evely! She’s so lucky to have you as a friend!
Same situation
I have to admit I’ve been in a clique like situation like that It really was hard for me to be mean to my other friends because the other ones told me too, and if I didnt they would make sure I ended up crying and being emberressed for the rest of the week!
u go girl
i had to deal with that too but it was a while b4 i could stand up for myself thats really great what you did and youre right its her problem
That Would Stink!
If i had 2 choose between friends, i could never do it, i luv all mi friends.
-Kalley