I Was Cyberbullied

By Tashana

“Tashana is a LOSER.”

“Her real name is Zit Zilla.”

“She’s not a girl, she’s an it.”

It felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach. My friend Ana* had just called to tell me to check out a web site. She’d said it was bad, but I still hadn’t expected this. I stared at the computer screen, wanting to scream. Wasn’t it enough that the popular kids tortured me at school? Now it was as if they had followed me home, the one place where I felt safe. Those words were on the Internet, where my whole school could see them. Where the whole world could see them! I was totally humiliated…

When we moved earlier that year, I’d actually thought being “the new girl” would be exciting. I knew I’d miss my old friends, but I didn’t think making new friends would be a problem. I’m very outgoing, and I was sure I’d get in with a fun group. Seventh grade might even be my best year ever.

Things started off pretty cool, too. On my very first day, a girl named Cameron introduced herself to me, and by the end of the day, I was part of her group. They reminded me of my friends back home, always laughing and having fun, and I felt totally comfortable with them. For the first few weeks, I was sure I’d been right: This would be my best year ever.

Popular…and Perfect?

It wasn’t perfect, though. I noticed that some things were different at this school—very different. At my old school, we didn’t really have “popular” and “unpopular” cliques. People liked you for who you were, not because you hung out with the “right” people. But at this school, popularity was everything, and Cameron was the most popular girl in seventh grade. People treated her like a queen, following her around and hanging onto every word she said.

Even though I hung out with them, I knew I was different from Cameron and her friends. They all looked like perfect little dolls, with beautiful skin and hair, and they all wore the latest styles. And me—well, I’m not perfect like that, but I didn’t think it mattered. I thought Cameron liked me for the same reasons I liked her—because she was fun to hang out with and seemed like a loyal friend.

Before long, though, I realized that we were different in another way. Cameron and her friends were always laughing, but sometimes they were laughing at people. They liked making fun of people’s clothes, or their looks, or even their religion! I didn’t like it, but I didn’t want to lose my new friends, so for a while I just let it go. But then one day Cameron and her friends were teasing this girl Ana, saying things like, “She’s so skinny that no one can even see her!” I got mad and said, “Why do you guys think it’s funny to put people down like that? It’s so not cool!”

That’s when the teasing started. Later that day I walked into a classroom and heard a group of the popular kids whispering and laughing. “Look at Zit Zilla,” one of them said. Then I heard “Pimple face…Fish Head…” And they were talking about me! The whole class was looking at me and laughing—all except for Ana and her friend Molly. All of a sudden, I felt sick. I wanted to run away, but I forced myself to sit at my desk and pretend there was nothing wrong. Don’t cry, I told myself. Just don’t cry.

Scared Silent

Just like that, I went from being Cameron’s friend to her enemy. The popular kids all called me names and gossiped about me constantly. They played tricks on me, and sometimes when they passed me in the hall, they’d shove me into the lockers. It got so bad, I hated going to school. Every afternoon, I’d sit in my room and cry.

Maybe you’re wondering why I didn’t just tell on them. I wanted to, but I was afraid. Sure, I’d get them in a little trouble—but wouldn’t that just make them hate me more? Wouldn’t they do something even worse? Besides, although I knew that what Cameron and her friends were doing was wrong, part of me kept thinking that maybe the problem was me. Maybe Cameron and her friends would have left me alone if I’d had perfect skin, if I’d been more like them. Maybe I was a loser, because why else were they doing this to me? And what if Cameron turned Ana and Molly against me, too? I felt so alone, and I was afraid I’d be even more alone if I spoke up.

Then I saw the web site, and suddenly, I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I knew I had to speak up, even if I was scared. After I finished crying, I talked to my parents. And the next day, I went to the principal and told her everything.

Since then, I’ve learned that I wasn’t alone at all. A lot of kids are victims of bullies, and a lot of girls, especially, are victims of “cyberbullies.” It’s so easy to insult someone online—you can cut her down and never even have to see the hurt on her face. You can post embarrassing pictures or insults without admitting that you’re the one doing it. It’s as bad as being bullied in person—or maybe even worse, because the bullies can get you even when you’re at home, in your own room, where you should feel safe.

So I started speaking out about bullying and cyberbullying at my school and in my community. At first, it was really hard to tell my story, but I’m glad I did. Instead of telling me I’m a loser, kids told me I was brave. Some people have even called me a hero!

I’m doing all I can to stop bullying. Think about it: Are you?

*All names, save the author’s, have been changed.