My BFF ditched me for the popular crowd! What should I do?
Face-to-Face Time
Remember, she’s not a mind-reader! Your friend needs to know that you’re upset or she can’t change. If she realizes her mistake and apologizes, give her a second chance. If she ignores your feelings, you need to realize that your friendship has changed. Still treat her like you’d want to be treated, though…as a friend!
Rabun, age 13, Ga.
Time to Move On?
You should be glad that she has other friends, and you should make some, too. If you truly are best friends, you could hang out with other people and still make time for each other. You should also realize that even though you were BFFs for a while, it is natural for friends to grow apart.
Sierra, age 12, Ore.
True Friends Don’t Ditch
Take a step back and ask yourself, “Would a true friend really ditch me?” Try getting to know some other people in your grade, and make new friends who will stand by you no matter what crowd you’re in. That way, you’ll be more comfortable knowing you have friends you can trust!
Kristen, age 12, Wis.
Through Thick and Thin
This has totally happened to me, but I just kept being nice to my friend even when she ignored me. Eventually, she realized the “popular crowd” weren’t her real friends. My advice is to stick with her if you really want to be her friend. Then she’ll realize that you matter more than the popular kids!
Alex, age 12, La.
Old and New!
Your BFF might be exploring the idea of new friendships, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be your best friend anymore. Tell her you miss spending time together—she may not even realize that she’s ignoring your friendship! Being a good friend means not getting jealous or mad. If she continues to ignore you, though, start looking for new friends of your own. You can never have too many friends!
Kasey, age 12, Ga.
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Try to let it go.
I myself went through things like this, and decided to let it go. I know that they were really close to you, and so were my friends. But when I started feeling left out in their activities, I thought that there were better people out there that could be better friends. Remember, she can still be your friend, but if she keeps treating you like this then you should just back off.
This Happened to Me Too
I had the same problem in 3rd grade & I was totally torn.
Ditched
In fourth grade my friend ditched me for the popular crowd. Well A girl in my class ( I don’t give names ) I was torn. Ever since they hung out I was hurt and confused. They were so mean to me because they knew I was an easy target. Well I’m going to middle school soon and have left that all behind.
be a friend
if she just left you and went to the popular group then just let her do it. She may just want to be with other people. It’s o.k. if she makes new friends but maybe you should let go and make some new friends too. And try to talk to her and ask to be friends agen and hang out. If she sais no then just let her go.
—me—
what happened to me...
what happened to me is my bff had just moved hear in third grade and she was wicked nice to me and we were so happy with eachother.we promised eachother that we would never be snotty and mean like the girls in our school that made people be their friends(aka the popular crew)until one day she started hanging out with them and then(snap…)suddenley she was mean to every body except her new crew and now completley ignores me.one day in 4th grade i stood up for myself and told her that her new friends were being really mean to me…even though they might be nice to you.she realized how bummed out i was and told that to her friends and they always acted nicer to me from then.
let"her/go
one of my friends did same to me when she was back inever talked 2 her again
Don't give up
a year ago my friend ditched me for someone else. i let it go, played wit other poeple and i was eventually over it. now a year later, we are bff again becuase i gave her a long open heart letter that told her how feel. just don’t give up and things will get better. TRUST ME!!!
true feelings
tell your bff how you really feel. choose who your real friends are.ignore her till she comes back to you. find some other friends who won’t diss you like that.
Friendship
You just gotta hang in there. Communicate with your BFF and tell her how you feel. Let her know that it hurt your feelings the way she treated you. Tell her how important the friendship is to you. If she’s really ur friend, then she’ll realize what she’s doing. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~Emy
thinking of your friend
If you are thinking of your friend but she doesn’t think of you. Well then just let her know how you feel. So that way the both of you can work things out. If that doesn’t fly with her then make a new friend or two.
-Lauren
by the way if your friend goes and starts to hang out with the populars then she is NOT your real friend.
True Friends would stick together
Just remember she will probably start to miss hanging with you and all the fun stuff you did together, and she might just be getting older and would like to hang out with other people. But i think you should also try to meet new people and get to know more people that like the same stuff as you. But if that doesnt work you should try to talk to your bff and tell her how you feel, and you could always get advise from a consular too.
-Alexis
She Might Noy Relize What She's Doing!
Did your BFF really ditch you for the populars? Does she hang out with you at all? If you answered a No for the 1st question and a Yes for the 2nd question, then she still has hope! Maybe you could hang out with the populars, too! Maybe they’re cool. Maybe they’re snobby and mean, but you won’t know unless you give them a chance! If they are really mean, then they - and your friend- aren’t worth your time.
Meet new people
If I was in your place I would just make other friends and forget about her and the popular crowd. It is not healthy to be thinking about when you can be making new friends. So just be making other friends that will actually stick with you and will treat you with the respect you should get. Since your friend moved on so should you and try to stop worrying.
just who you are!
just be who you are and if your friend ditchs then she must not be your friend if you just be yourself and tell her how you feel everything can fall into place
the "popular crowd"
one of my friends ditched me for the cool crowd. i realized that she was ‘cool’ but i never though she’d ditch me. i told her, and she said she never knew what she had done. my advice is: TELL YOUR FRIEND HOW YOU FEEL. IT COULD SAVE YOUR FRIENDSHIP!!!!
ERIN
Popular Crowd
I say if your BFF ditches you for the popular crowd you should forget about her because if she was a true BFF should wouldn’t of went to the popular and she would still be your friend !
Lexi
Popular Crowd
If your friend ditches you for the cool kids then let her know how you feel and tell her straight up that the friendship is over if that’s how she’s going to be.
True Friends arent MEAN
True friends don’t ditch each other. I think it is time you find a new friend.
tru to the end
I know how you feel but try to set aside some Bff time. Iif that doesnt work try to meet some new “gal pals”.
My Advice
Well, if you talk to your BFF face2face (without anyone able to hear if you can) and she decides she’d rather hang out with the popular kids instead of you, well what can you do? Just try your best to make new friends. If she decides she wants to be with you and the popular kids that’s fine too! You may not be as close as before, but at least your still friends. You can make new ones too.
<3 Courtney
dont let her go
try to call her after school then you can talk to her one on one. you can try to tell her how you feel and maybe you two will make up
allie
I'm there too!
I’m in the same position, but I have had progress. I had Bronchitis for 9 days. I didn’t stay intact with anyone while i was sick, of course. when I could finally come back to school, one of my BFF wasn’t talking to me! Thinking it was a phase, I hung-out with my other friends. At recess, I was going to talk to my BFF when I saw her with the popular crowd! I went to talk to them. Now, I’m not the most skinny girl, and neither is my BFF. I greeted them politely, only to recieve this response: “Hey, I just got this new top. I would tell you where I got it so you can look at the great quality, but you’d never fit into the clothes anyway! I don’t think they go up to size XXXXXXXXXL.” Then the most unexpected thing happened! my BFF stood up for me! After that, she sneered at them, and walked away.The next day I thought everything would be back to normal, but it kept happening. the same thing, just different insults.
So, hang in there, and don’t give up hope. your BFF will come to her senses.
Try to Forgive
She made a mistake! Tell her how you feel. If she ignores you, it is probably time to move on. If she doesn’t ignore you, give her a second chance. Everyone makes mistakes. Remember, friends aren’t perfect, they just want to be popular. You have to remind her that she was popular before, and that she was awesome before.
Kacey
Friends
Remember, friends never last forever. Friends always come and go, and there’s no point in feeling upset about what she did; it’s her loss. You can find a new friend by being friendly to people who are friendly to you, and if you are friendly to others, you will have new friends in no time.
Friend or foe???
Try to still hang out with her (even if she is in popular crowd). If she avoids you try hanging out with other friends.
Miranda
You should have different friends to rely on!!!
Is she your ONLY friend? She shouldn’t be! She’s wasting her time with people who only like her because she wears nice clothes,or she’s pretty and stuff. You should meet some other people to hang with instead of thinking what life would be like if she was still a normal humin-bean! There are alot of possibilities like she got tired of hanging with you,or she always wanted to be BFF’s with the populars,and she wasn’t a “true friend”,but it could be that’s she’s getting older.
-isabella a life helper
try to sort it out
try to talk to your bff about it if she doesn’t couperat then walk away and try to make knew friends. if she is treating you like this then she is not a true friend! and that’s the truth!
Not A True BFF
If your BFF would do that, then she’s not your BFF. Real friends would always stick to you and not ditch for any reason what so ever. Even if it was to become “popullar.”
How Rude
friends dont ditch. And friends are always happy to be together or in other words willing to be together a lot.
Reply to "How rude"
how old are you? because that’s totally true! You must have gone through experience like me
True friend...or not...
If your (BFF) was a true BFF then she wouldn’t ditch you just to be popular. Honestly, at my school, people who are popular just put people down and aren’t really popular. True, nice, and sweet people really have the most friends and are the true kind of popular. This is not true in all situations. Some popular people can be really sweet. But when your friend ditches you just to be (cool) she’s lamer than anyone can get. Good luck with all your troubles!
Chelsea
friend
IF she was realy your BFF she woldn’t have ditched you.
Great-true friends stay forever
Dont let these girls put you down! If they see that your upset then they are glad because they just want to see your reaction… true friends WILL stay together no matter what… whenever these girls look at you with a mean face… just smile and look off, make them think: oh, we didnt hurt her when that was are target, then they will realize, they cant fool around with you.
The Wrong Way
This also happened to me. I was only in the fourth grade, and my best friend started hanging out with my enemy. To make it even worse, she acted as if I didn’t exist. I talked to my other BFF about it, and we decided that we should speak with her. But when she wouldn’t say anything to us, we just kept following her trying to get her to say something. DON’T DO THAT! That just made things worse. This went on for about a full month. Then, they started to give my friend and me fake excuses. Thay made me feel terrible. Eventually, I gave up and began to accept it. Now, we are BFFs once again. It turned out that she just wanted some space, and when we followed her she just got angrier. So, if this is happening to you, try talking to your friend. But, if she doesn’t want to talk, respect her and let it go for a while. Later, when there isn’t so much tension between you, try it again. Hopefully, you will gradually become friends again.
r u sure?
that girl diched you for a month and u r still freinds? Maybe she need some space BUT FOR THE HOLE MONTH. I wouldnt get back toghter with her. Thast just me
Hailey
True Friend
If your friend ditch you for the popular crowd she is not a true friend so say if you are at lunch try to switch up your seats and see if you can make some new friend. That is what I did.
Girl
Girl If she ditched you to be with the popular kids then let her, she made her chose between you, a loyal friend and the snoby popular kids. Now it’s time to let her go and make new friends.
My New X-friend or maybe not.
I had a BFF, Savannah and she was a drama queen but i didn’t mind until we hit 4th grade. She was rude and mean and thought she was on top of the world. Until 5th grade, my mom understood my problem and HEY, my mom was my teacher and Savannah’s. She was short and cute and everyone agreed even my crush. My family moved to a better educated city and still went there to finish off the school year. Then as 6th grade started she E-mailed me and insulting me so bye-bye Savannah! Some friends are just like that so you wanna make sure you have friends that you can count on and lay your head on their shoulders.
I know it may...
I know it may seem like she dousnt want to be friends with you anymore but shes just trying to exsplore new friends ships. Even if its the popular crowd you should suport her.
-Alli
Make New Friends
If she ditched you, it only seems you should “return the favor”. Try making some new friends. Only this won’t be a mean thing to do because she ditched first. It might make her a little jelous, but even if your sad about her don’t let her see. When she sees you with a more people, she’ll think “I wish that was me,” and she might go back to being your friend.
BFF
Tell your BFF your feelings and teel her want to be her friend. It’s bad to lose a friend, so speak up now!
Are you sure she's "Ditching"?
Are you sure she’s “ditching”? Maybe she wants to join the pops! If she’s was a true friend then think,”She’s not true friend if she ditched me! I should meet some new friends.”and if she isn’t such a good friend then think,”It’s HER loss! hanging with some snobby girls who don’t care about,when she can hang with me.”and make some new friends. If your “friend” made some new friends,then you can to!! If the pops throw her away then DON’T take her back. If she ditched you then she’s not worth it!!!
—isabella
Girls Need More Than One Friend
I think you should simply let your best friend know that you want to be friends with both her and your other friends. If she can’t respect your descision, then she was obviously not the best friend to hang around with in the first place. I mean, let’s face it, one friend isn’t going to get you through a lifetime!!!
girls need more than a couple bffs
girls dont like JUST one friend. they like to be friends with lots of other people, like jock, popular, and maybe even punks! but a friend is someone who is true to u no matter what
Ask her if she relizes...
One day, walk up to her and say, “Hey, do you know what your doing? Your making our friendship worse by ditching me. I thought you were my friend.” Maybe she doesn’t relize how mean she is being. Or maybe if she does… it’s probably time to move on. You have other friends, just try to get really close to those friends. And there you have it. A new best friend. It may seem frusterating but it’ll work out. Trust me.
Lauren, age 8, Missouri
HEY
Well if your friend was a real one she would not of left you. Maybe she wants to hang out with more people the best thing to do is let it go she can’t be your olny friend.
STOP! and think
I under stand how it feals for your BFF to ‘ditch’ you for the poppuler croud. i can help you but not much, this is some thing you have to figure out on your own. hear are some questions you can ask your self that might help you figuer out why she lefed you for them. 1) did she start treating you difrintley befor? if so why might her atutid change? if you can not figuer out why then try to ask her in a way to show her that you gest want to know so you can help her or help your frendship. 2)have you ben in a fight reacentley? if so what was it about? can you mabey make it up to her in some way to show her you still cair? i hope that i have ben able to help you out in some way. and good luck geting back your frend. i hope it is not to late for you to still be frends. and mabey she neads some time to gather her thoughts and figuer it out on her own. and Sierra is right frends do drift apart i should know! it is allways hard on one of you ans some times on both of you! if this advice does not help you then try to ask your mom, ant, grand ma, or an older sister. i would say dad too but some times….. no most times men and boys dont understand what girls are going thrue. but your mom, ant, grand ma, and older sister(if you have one) have ben thrue this befor so thay can give you some more helpfull edvice!
Mariah
Changes
Every girl, even you BFF, goes through changes. These cause them to do things they wouldn’t normally do. If you still want to pursue your friendship, talk it out. Find a time when you are alone, or invite her over to your house, and talk to her about her going for the popular girls. There must be a reason for her joining the popular crowd, and if you find it out it will help you see if this girl is a true friend. If she doesn’t want to comunicate any more, just let it go. There are other girls out there, and who knows!, someday she might realize that being popular isn’t right for her and come back to you. Just stay open to new friendships, and follow your heart!
Anna
Ditched
I was BFFs with this one girl, Shawna, in pre-school. I thought we were going to be BFFs forever. Then when we got older and could do cheerleading, she did cheerleading. I didn’t want to do cheerleading. Then she started to hang out with the other cheerleaders and less with me. Now she’s one of the most popular girls in the grade. She doesn’t talk to me much. We do talk just not like we’re BFFs. I’ve gotton other friends.
-Lindsey
Popular Girl
I dont think most girls would want to be the most popular girl in the school because most if the time a lot of people want to talk bad about you. You might want to be the popular girl who does all of the cool stuff but most of the time they are always mean to you!!!
Happened to me
My BFF was always talking about these girl in my grade that are mean and popular. Usually when she talks about girls, it’s not even close to true. But these things were true. We hated them,we were their main target. I switched schools for a while and came back and she was hanging with them! I asked her if she made new friends when she was sitting at the popular table at school, but she was like get out of my face freak! When i talked to her my her new friends she was all mean, but when we were alone she was the same, fun friend she was before. I was really confused. I invited her to my birthday, but all she did was eat our food, watch TV, and talk about her popular crowd. I talked to her a little later and she totally understood! She knew the popular crowd was not the best and took me back. Now, we walk the halls together and talk to the populars and everyone else! Everyone at school is friends now!
BFFs?
Maybe your friend isnt ditching you, but just wants to be familiar with the popular crowd. The thing is, it happened with ME and the popular girls. I wanted to be friends with the popular crowd. My BFF since first grade, Maddie, though wanted to hang out w/ me. I sort of got what I wanted, but I was so blind back then. Whenever the popular group would try and sit with me, they couldnt bcuz there were eight girls and six chairs at a table. I was mostly left out. pretty soon I started to see Maddie a different way. How shed still be waiting for me at recess, how shed beg me to copme sit with her. I then decided the right thing to do. I ditched the popular crowd in the end and joind my true friends. I soon ended up being popular for being smart.
If your friend seems to be ditching you for real, give her some time, and maybe it will all work out in the end. hope it works out
Your friend:)
Saima=saima-saimalimabean=roxy
Ouch!!
That kinda happened to me. I was in third grade and I was friends with this girl. we played together every day. then in the middle of the year she started playing with this girl (who didn’t like me) Toward the end of the year she asked me who I wanted as a teacher. I told her… and she wanted the same teacher… then she said “we will probaley get him but you wont.” when we git our teachers I had gotten him and she haden’t!! I think it is kinda funny… anyway I wish I had known this stuff befor.
*Miranda
Popular Crowds
The exact same thing happened to me! It happened last year, when I was seventh grade. My (ex) best friend and I had been really close for about a hear and a half. We were inseperable. But after Christmas, she sorta stopped talking to me and hanging out with girls in the popular crowd. We haven’t spoken to each other since March, and I’m beginning to think it’s because the popular girls brainwashed her. Right now, she sorta doesn’t have many friends because she turned away from her old friends (us who weren’t so popular) to join her “new” friends (the popular crowd) and found the popular crowd didn’t like her that much and now that she has turned from us, she’s gonna have a hard time getting our trust back. I also just recently found out she talked about me behind my back, even when we were good friends. I wasn’t supposed to know but my friend sorta let it slip when we were talking about the evilness of my other friend. Anyways if she is your real friend, try and talk to her. Try to talk to her in person but if that doesn’t work IM/e-mail or call her. Just tell her you feel rejected and stuff…Although I didn’t do that to my friend, I should have. I spent hours crying about it. But tell her how you feel, it’ll atleast make you fell better.
It's her decision
Don’t try to stop your BFF from going to the “cool” crowd, because its what she wants to do. If she’s really your friend, she’ll know what she’s doing is bad. But if she stays with the cool crowd, stay strong and move on. There are plenty of other nice people out there to be friends with!
It's Not Your Thing
If you absolutely can’t stand the Populars, then stay away. If your friend wants to hang out with them, and make kids feel down in the dump, that’s her loss. It’s also another loss. The other loss is that she’s missing out on a great friendship with you. If a popular is who she wants to be, let her be popular. Try to hang out with other girls that don’t put down kids. They’re the dependable friends!
I Agree
I totally agree! If your so called “friend” ditches you to havg with the mean popular crowd-let her because she is not really your friend. The people who stick with you no matter what are your real friends. Also i am sure there are some people who want to be your friends but are too shy to ask you. Try to go up to people insted of waiting for them to come to you. -Kate
You Can't Choose Your BFFs World
If your friend really did ditch you for the popular crowd, then maybe its time to move on. If she’s going to mean to other kids and hang out with someone that’s not so nice, then you should go and find some other kids to hang out with! You should be loved for who you are, not for who a friend is, anyway. If you really don’t want to move on, then just talk to your friend without accusing her.
"populars" aren't really mean
ok, “populars” rn’t really mean, stupid or unfreindly. they r really nice and some might feel infereor or somthing might be going wrong in their family at the time. although it doesn’t give them the right to be mean think about how they feel.
my friend thought i ditched her for the popular group but i didn’t. i told her that i was going hang out with some other ppl and the next week she starts ignoring me. so i told her if you cant except me hanging out with other ppl then i guess we cant be freinds. and we havent talked since.
I so agree!!
One of my friends(Lets pretend her name was “Allie”)was really nice to me! We weren’t close but we hung-out a lot. Since she was soo pretty,and boys all ways commented(good!)stuff about her,she was really popular. So “popular” people can be really nice sometimes! It’s just that they seem… like the most biggest clique.
—Isabella
Ps:We aren’t friend’s anymore!
soooo true!
I also sent in a thing talkin bout that!! I’m popular, but not mean, unfriendly, stupid, or anything else you might ASSUME! I hate that when people look at me they automatically think I’m terrible or something! Thanks for hearin us out!!!
Guess What?
I just found out that a girl that’s a Poppie reads DG! She saw the thing I sent in and asked me,”Did you right that think about Popular’s on DG?”,and I’m like,”Yeah!”. So now she welcomed me into her group! She told me,”I thought you were like everyone else! Always talking about how stuck-up the populars are.”I know I shouldn’t care If I’m a geek or not. But that goes to show that,when you don’t say,”OMG! The poppie’s are so un-cool. I hate them!!”,then maybe the nice one’s will hear you out and accept the GREAT YOU!
—Isabella
POPULARS ARE REALLY NOT MEAN
POPULARS CAN BE SNOBS, JERKS AND EVEN FRIENDS. MY BFF IS TOTALLY POPULAR BECUZ EVERYONE LIKES HER! SHES NICE, FRIENDLY, AND PRETTY. I DOESNT MATTER IF YOU ARE POPULAR OR NOT, IT MATTERS IF YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND. ;)
Well here's a twist...
Actually My school (I think) Had a group of popular girls, they’re nice to me and they even invite my to hang with them! But I don’t cuz they really aren’t my type, and to be frank, they creep me out! Shudders
i tHINK U R RIGHT
Populars rnt really mean but if u try to get to them you might say why did i ever say that. I also think u should try 2 meet new people
I had a friend named well,
I had a friend named well, I’ll just call her Haley. On the first day of school (5th grade), she looked lost, “she must be new,” i wondered, so went up to her and said hello. For about the next 3 months we were inseperatlble.Then 1 day she started to hang out with these 2 popular girls. Those girls were not that mean, but they just didn’t seem 2 like me alot, but i tired to talk to them. DiDN’T WORK OUT. The 2 girls named Kylie and Laura*, sometimes, we would be in a grpup for English class, but Hayley, Laura, And kylei would just talk about…stuff. Not me, but they didn’t even try to include me or even noticed i was there. i used to live in Texas, but i moved. I was not happy. i had to leave my 2 BFFs. They like my sisters. But, Hayley?, not a chance. I still E-mail her, but i just accepted the fact that our friendship has faded away. Im going 2 Sixth grade this year and i am hoping to find a new bFF. That is what you should do if u & yor friendships have faded away. : - )
populars
That REALLY, REALLY bugs me that you guys always say that the popular crowd is like…terrible!!! I’m in the popular crowd and i’m nice, friendly, smart, AND have a lot of friends! I’m also been a cheerleader! I don’t know what makes me sooo mean! I don’t know why people always assume that stuff. I’m just tryin to get the word out that populars aren’t always bad, just well liked, after all that is the meaning of popular! LOL-Haley
Confused
I am a popular and I am known as a nice person. I agree, I don’t understand why people think populars are mean!? I mean why can’t girls be popular as in nice, friendly, smart, maybe even pretty, it doesn’t mean they have to be snobs. It hurts a lot of girl’s feelings when people say that, and by the way, it’s not just blondes either! Love, Mary
Right on!
I agree with you. I like to think of it this way: ppl who are popular aren’t always mean, and ppl who are mean aren’t always popular.
——Emy
WHAT?!
I’m popular, but not a snob, stupid, or totally preppy!!! People always mis-judge me, knowing I’m popular! Just hear us out: IF WE ARE IN THE “COOL” CROWD IT DOESN’T ALWAYS MEAN WE’RE BRATS! Let your friend experience new friendships, because most populars aren’t as mean as you take them for!!!