When Friends Attack
By Lori Deschene
It’s Monday morning in homeroom and something feels off. None of your friends said hi to you—not even your BFF—and now they’re all whispering to each other as if the telephone game made a comeback. Wait…did they just turn and laugh in your direction? Did you just hear your name? All of a sudden, sirens go off in your head! Code pink! Level-three-friend-gang-up in classroom 10!
Easy now…come back to Earth…breathe. You probably feel like you’re suspended in mid-air on a roller coaster. But don’t worry—you won’t fall off…if you keep your wits about you and handle the situation with grace. Not sure how to do that? There isn’t an exact formula (like x + y = friends stop being mean), but there are a few ways you can improve your situation.
Don’t…
Assume anything.
You might think you know exactly what’s going on, and maybe you do. But it might also just be a silly misunderstanding! Maybe your friends are just playing a joke on you, or planning a surprise for your birthday. Maybe they’re looking at something on the wall behind you. You get the point. There could be a number of explanations for what’s going on. You won’t know until you ask!
Freak out!
This is not the end of all your friendships. You deal with hard things all the time, and they always get better eventually. When you do badly on a test, you probably don’t think, Oh no! I’m going to spend the rest of my life repeating grades. I’ll be a 33-year-old seventh grader. Instead, you trust you’ll figure things out, right? You’ll get through this, too. If you freak out, you’ll be too upset to deal with the situation in a smart way.
Do…
Think before you speak.
Have you ever noticed that when you fight with your mom, you regret blurting out the first thing that comes to mind? (For example: “Fine! I couldn’t care less if I’m grounded. Who wants to go to the movies anyway?”) The same idea applies here. If you speak before you think, your emotions will probably do the talking for you. And emotions usually aren’t too good at handling a situation wisely.
Speak to each girl alone.
First, it’s scary to approach a whole group of people! Second, you’re more likely to get an honest response that way. In a group, your friends may all try to act cool in front of each other. Finally, if you speak to each girl alone, you can keep the focus on your friendship with her, not on the group. You can ask why she’s upset with you, and tell her how you feel about how she has treated you.
For the complete article, pick up the February/March issue of Discovery Girls, on newsstands now!
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Wow, it’s been a while
Wow, it’s been a while since I had to deal with this….what I’ve never experienced this….It sounds horrible….and painful….- Elphy
Wow It Has Been a While
I think the last time my ffriends did this was in 4th grade, I felt soo left out and I thought they did’nt like me.
not friends
if i do confront them and if they tell me that they were talking bad about me then i would have to get new friends because i dont want to be friends with people who talk bad about me.there not real friends!
Nice
This a sad, yet nice story, keep on believing. :)
this helps thanks
this helps thanks
my friends do that
thx alot “discovry girls” for tht advice cuz my friends always do tht and i don’t know what i wanna to do thx
hey
this sooooooo helps THY(THank You)DG
This helps
This helps sooooooooooooooooo much love ya vanessa
thanks
this happens to me sometimes but my BFF helps me through it
friend probs
that helps. thanks. girls do a lot of that. good stuff. oh and by the way if your ‘friends’ do that, maybe they’re not your friends. seriously, just face it.
flower lover
This Never happend to me.....
this never has happen to me……mostly because (Maybe) i don’t go to a public school……i’m home schooled, and i do have a TON of good friends, and they would NEVER do this to me!
Stay Strong
If something like that happens, you should talk to that person and ask why they are doing this. Remember, they might be sad or lonely. If you ask & they get mad, just tell them to stay calm. If they continue this, talk to a adult.
great advice
great advice
not much
I SO AGREE!!!! TO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cay-cat!!!!!!!!!!!
when friends attack
Thank-you so much discovery girls my friends allways do this to me and now that i have this advice i know how to handle it.
I agree
I agree
Hard stuff girl
its kinda hard to not freak out when your loosin’ all your friends and you haven’t a clue why they stabed you in the back.
advise
man i went threw that last year it was horible!!!!!!!! i lost my bff and all my friends. i said some things im not so proud of. i was just so mad i mean i have bad family history and told my bff every thing and then she goes and tells every one. if i had this advise last year i would still have all my friends. but know ive mad new friends…so thanks for the advise :)
thanks DG it helped alot my
thanks DG it helped alot my friends stopped vhatting about me behind my back
but ...!?
but what if u dont see then wispering or anything like that! what of that aint the situation at all? what if it’s something like… hmmmmm… like the one grl u absolutely dispise is the one that ur bff wants 2 be friends with!? then what r u supposed 2 do?
-confuzzled…..
So Happened
This has so happened to me so many times! When I think back, I took things the wrong way. I should have [A] Thought before I spoke and [B] Spoke to each girl alone. Now I’ll know what to do when this happens again! Thanks!
ignore
you have to ignore them because there losers
ingorne them
ignore them who cares what they are saying just talk about them with another girl . you can also pick the girl she doesnt like to get then jealous . or you can go up to them and say whAT aRE you talking about . and if they dont say.say ok i guess you dont want to know about what your crush said to me .(even if you did not talk to their crush) and they are probaly gonna say so. but they are dieing to know and thats it
When Friends Attack
I think this is a really good idea to have things like this but not everyone has friend probs. You should try having another topic sometimes! Just a thought thanks!
cay-cat LOL
P.S.I LOVE THIS MAG IT’S GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THANX
thanks for having such a helpful and cool mag! ROCK ON!!!!!!!*
cay-cat
wow thats exactly wats been happening for the past 2 weeks
my friends hav done that for the past two weeks but slowly were recovering from it!
mine too
mine too
Right
My friends have done that for the past two weeks but slowly were recovering from it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
chill out
when you and friends get into fights no big deal just stay away until you and your friend have cooled down over fight. You will always be friend even if you had i silly little fight.
UGH! the mean girls
Usually if no one is talking to you that means you might have done something to upset them. Also there is usually a leader in the group so if she is mad then she will get everyone to turn against you. These are the girls who think they are better than everyone else. Its better to ignore them than to get invovled with drama. If no one is talking to you then you should make some new friends (not just for until your other friends come back). You should also see what is wrong maybe you can apologize. If no one from your old group is talking to in a weeks time then you should move on. Just remember THEIR LOSS!!!
this always happens to me
wow this always happens to me at my school. and drama stinks totally. i hate it when friends do that and sometimes just to make u miserable and make u feel bad. well thanks for the advice. i think it will help.
When friends attack!!
the topic is very nice and i think it happens a lot in my life… it’s so cool.. i just liked it !!
whoa
Something like this has never happend to me. Ina way i feel lucky…… but i still feel for all you guys that have had it happrn to you!!!
J.J
It's Tough
It’s tough when your friends do that. My friends always talk about people behind their back. They sometimes even say mean things to someones face. Thanks 4 the advice!!! -Kirsten!!!
So Tough
tat hapens to me a lot of tims becase when i walk in they start whispering to make me jealous
Thanks!
Thanks so much!! Thats exactly what happened to me a few days ago, the advice helped me!!!!!!!!!!!
that must hurt a lot
wow that sounds very hurtfull. Sometimes my friends talk about people behind their backs and i hate it. So i just tell them to iamgine if they were that person who was getting talked about and see how they feel.
Sometimes i feel the same way
OH YEAH, ITS HAPPENED!!!!
In my account, this is the worst case of friendship hardship ever! Actually, this just happened like, yesterday! I was talking with some of my friends when I heard my BFF talking with a few of her friends ( and by a few, I mean like, ten, she’s in the pop crowd ) when I thought she was talking about us. Later, I found out she was! I was quick to end that friendship, and now I’m a lot happier! Face it, there are friends like that out there, and once you learn you don’t have to put up with that, the happier you will be- find a true friend that will stick with you, and who won’t gossip!
XOXO, Lindsay
Thanks DG
Thank you guys so much for putting this article on here. It really helped me a lot. Your magazine rocks. Thanks for everything. Halle
I know just how you feel!
I have been in this situation before and I didnt handle it the way I was suposed to. Then It became a full out war. Follow these instructions that they gave us.
Wonderful
Wonderful advice
Cool beans!
when friends attack
OMG, my bff attacked, but not in the usual way. she just stopped talking to me. I tried my best to fix it, but i couldnt so we still havent talked and its been THREE YEARS!
txs!
this so happened 2 me last yr. wish i read this then. oh well… anyway txs dg u so rock!
edeline
BEEN THERE DONE THAT!
WOW!Sometimes I do feel like my freinds are talking about me it’s mainly my BFF well should I say BF and I always know if she’s talking about me just by the look in her eyes and then I just know and I talk to her about it and then she gets all mad and says she was talking about somthing els but I can tell when she’s lieing to me and that’s all the time!Then another way I know is she talks about her and my other freinds to me why woudn’t she talk about me to our other freinds.
been there
this totally helps,,,,especially since me and my group are currentl;y in the same place….now it’s all a big fuzz!! so now i know how to deal things with them instead of crying myself to sleep.
Defiinitly Tough
I’ve been through this one and everything else before and let me tell you, it is NOT PRETTY!!!! I loathe it, but hang out with some other friends that day (the girl in your Science class who looks nice) and you’ll be fine 100% foolproof!