Pressured to Be Perfect
By Phoebe Kitanidis
Ah, perfection. Almost every girl strives for it—and not because they’re competitive spotlight-seekers. Actually, many girls see being perfect as the only way to ensure they won’t be laughed at, criticized, or labeled “not good enough.” Only problem is, nobody is perfect. So you can drive yourself perfectly crazy with pressure to be “perfect”…or you can learn to be perfectly yourself. Want to find out how to set real goals, make the most of criticism, and stride around with sky-high confidence? Keep reading!
Set Your Own Expectations
“I was so proud of my 93 in math…until someone who got a 100 asked what I got. Suddenly I felt terrible about my 93! I had to remind myself it doesn’t matter what that person got or thinks about my grade. The only thing that matters is whether I’m happy with it.”
–Molly, age 12, N. J.
Just because your BFF is worried about her weight doesn’t mean you need to drop five pounds. And just because your mom always wished she stuck with piano lessons doesn’t mean you have to become the next Beethoven. Learn to recognize the difference between your own personal goals and someone else’s. Set high expectations for yourself, but be sure those expectations make sense for you…not for your best friend, your mom, or anyone else. Then, when you reach a milestone, pat yourself on the back! If you were seriously struggling in math and made your goal of a B, have a pizza party to celebrate…yes, even if your friend is tearfully shredding her B+ paper! Don’t let comparisons throw you off course. Maria Sharapova may be a better tennis player than you, but you still have every right to be proud of your killer backhand!
Look at the Whole Picture
“Because of my learning disability, I’ve had to work extra hard and learn new strategies to do well in school. But it’s also taught me that everyone has things that are hard for them, and everyone has things that they do really well. No one does everything well or everything badly.”
–Melanie, age 12, Va.
Have you ever glanced at a gorgeous model and thought, “Darn it, why can’t I be perfect like she is?” Easy: because she’s not perfect. Just because you don’t see flaws doesn’t mean they’re not there. So why aren’t you seeing that the math whiz can’t spell to save her life, or that your pretty neighbor struggles with acne? Maybe it’s because part of you likes believing that perfection is possible. Maybe it even feels inspiring in some weird way to compare yourself to these “flawless” girls—it gets you motivated, right? Sure. Unfortunately, it motivates you to aim for an impossible goal, which leads straight to…you guessed it, Pressure City.
Instead of obsessing about your flaws and putting other girls on a pedestal, focus on your strengths. Start by recognizing those things you’re naturally good at––and don’t brush off all your accomplishments as “easy” or “unimportant.” If you can do a perfect cartwheel or draw the world’s cutest kittens, if you always give your friends smart advice or know just how to make them laugh, let yourself appreciate those qualities the way you appreciate others’ strengths. Keep a list of your own talents and skills and add to it often. And from now on, when you find a “perfect” person, remind yourself that if you could see her as clearly as you see yourself, she’d have as many flaws as you…or anyone else.
Learn to Accept Criticism
“When my dad kept correcting my ice-skating moves, it made me want to quit. But when I told him I felt pressured, he said I should focus on improving rather than getting upset that I’m not perfect. Slowly, I realized he had a point. The next time I showed up for practice with my coach, she said everything was looking really great!”
–Sofiya, age 11, British Columbia
When you’re being criticized, it can be hard to separate the useful bits––the comments that can actually help you improve––from the nasty ones that eat away at your confidence. When your coach barks, “Can’t you run any faster?!” or your mom asks, “Are you sure you want to wear that?” the only message you hear may be, “You’re not good enough.” And that makes you want to put your hands over your ears and just stop listening.
But consider this: If the criticism comes from someone who truly has your best interests at heart, it may contain valuable information that can help you improve. Instead of shutting him or her out or going on the defensive (“I’m doing the best I can!” “But I love this ratty old sweatshirt!”) try to open yourself up to the possibility that your criticizer might be even just a little bit correct. It may be hard to appreciate this when you’re feeling criticized, but the person is giving you an honest opinion and may sincerely be trying to help. If you listen, you might learn something.
On the other hand, if somebody’s nitpicking is sapping your enjoyment of an activity, you don’t have to give their words the power to make you feel bad. If you’re feeling extra sensitive today, tune out your dance teacher’s harping on your posture, at least for now, and dance just because you love it. You don’t have to be focused on self-improvement all the time. And remember: In the end, you’re the one who chooses how you react to someone’s feedback.
Be Your Own Best Friend
“Whenever I watch TV, there’s some show on about celebrities. They always look so pretty, and it gets me thinking about how I never look that good. But then I think to myself, you’re pretty in your own way, especially on the inside. And I think about how special I really am.”
–Lindsay, age 10, Md.
If your best friend blurted out that she felt dumb or ugly, would you just stand there as the poor girl sobbed…or worse, agree with her? Of course not! You’d rush to remind your friend of all the ways she rocks. So why not treat yourself with the same kindness? Next time you hear yourself thinking negative thoughts about you because you’re not perfect, pretend you’re your own best friend. Remind yourself of what matters in your life: your health, your values. Your friends and family. Your inner beauty. Reassure yourself as often as you need to…before the unfair comparisons take over.
Remember, you have the power to make yourself nuts trying to be perfect (whatever that means), but you also have the power to make yourself happy––and to love the person you are. And being perfect? You’re too busy being you to bother with that!
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DO NOT MAKE ME BE SOMEONE ELSE!
I had a friend she always looked butiful and said if I was her friend i had to be prety I wanted to but i did not know if i should .i did i was dumb because i should be my self and have friends who like me for my self!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!So i told her that i would be her friend only if i could be my self and if she did not like that then i do not want her as a friend.She said fine.We are not friends.I alomst cried we were friends when we were 1.Isaid im better then that. She said i would never be populer.I said i have other freinds who like me for who im am and that makes me populer for them.So just saying dont let people tell u what to do.
DO NOT MAKE ME BE SOMEONE ELSE!
rock on! i believe you did the right thing. i’m glad you stood up for yourself in that situation. you should always be yourself, even if it means loosing a friend. you should never have to change who you are inside for anyone but yourself! i hope you continue to make the right choices!
Pushed to do what i dont allways want to do
My school has a contest called Reflections. I want to make a picture for the theme but my mom thinks i shouldnt and that i should only do writing because my third grade teacher told me that i was gifted in it but i dont always like it.and the other one is photography and i like but not love it. Its fun to take my own pictures but my mom wants me to do the stuff that im gifted at and i really could paint a great picture and my mom dosent want me to do the drawing/ artisitic stuff. She wants my younger sister in first grade to do that. She says shes the artist in the house and im kinda sad about that. Im allways preesured on what i dont want to do allways.
That's wrong
I feel bad for you! You should be able to do what you want to do. Everyone is different, but not COMPLETELY different. I’m sure a lot of people met someone who has the same likes and dislikes as themselves. It’s not like if some one likes some thing you like you have to do something totally different. We all learned that.
That totally stinks!!
You should have fun doing the contest! If you really like art, go for it!! If you want to get better, take some art camps. Just because you may not be the best in the world, doesn’t mean you should quit. And if you don’t win? Feel good about the fact that you gave it your all!!!!!
2 ARTISTS
your house i bet could hold 2 artists.my house holds more than 3 authors & it’s lookin’ fine!talk to your mom.maybe she just doesn’t understamd that you don’t wanna do writing P.S.GO HUSKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
omg! HUSKERS RULE!
My mom went 2 NU, so I’m a HUGE Cornhuskers fan ROCK ON!!!!! And I totally agree with the whole, more than 1 artist thing, my whole family is Artistic, both my parents can paint, so can me and my sister, my dad could be a photographer, and he also like to work with wood, so to the girl who’s mom said she can’t paint, tell her to read this! I mean, come on! My mom lets me choose my hobbies, and my parents aren’t pushovers, so maybe tell your mom to let you at least try it. And anyways, how can she tell your sister is the artist? She’s to young to be able to tell!
Heyyy
My school used to have a contest called reflections. I was either in kindergarten or first grade when I did it. I enetered a picture and I got third place. I was kinda sad though because I didn’t get first place. Then I realized that out of the many people that entered, I was one of the ones who made it in the top 3 so I felt pretty special. And to other people who are better than me, they make me 25% jealous, and the other 75% is inspiration. They inspire me to a) love who I am, even though I’m not like them. b) try to improve on whatever. I have a friend who is really overweight, and people call her overweight too, but she ignores them and loves herself, which I think is really cool.
Dear pushed ot do what you dont want to do,
Talk to your mom! It isn’t right for her to label you as “the artist” or the “writer”. Labels hurt. And can keep you form doing tons of fun and exciting things! Tell oyur mom that want to do the contest and why. Also tell your mom that you feel limited and less confindent when she labels you like that. Hopefully she’ll see oyur point. Best of Luck!
Re: Pushed to do do what i don't always want to do
Dude, Relax! If your mom does this all the time , just give her a heads up. Tell hr that you fell like she’s pressuring you to not have fun, and tell her that you think you should do what you want to do. I’ve been through the same thing and I’m almost positive she’ll listen. Be you and you only.
oh no no no
none will ever make you some thing you are not it just not right! people sould respect who you are and you are perfect and there is nothing to change about you, mostly it matters for on the inside the heart and you have a very big heart and no one can change that from you so get your self together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Crazy
I totally agree with you! That was sooooooo wrong. But, over time people change and get so weird! Good for you to stick up for yourself! I’m sure that you can find other people that are WAY more supportive! Besides who really needs to be popular?
dont make me live someone else's life!!!!!!
my mom always tells me what I want and what i don’t!!!!! she says she had a bad childhood and i think she wants ME to live it again for her!!!!!!!!! i keep telling her it’s MY LIFE but she just doesn’t understand!!!!!!! i finally said that she can’t control me and that i can be whoever i wanna be and thats who i am and NO1 can change that and she FINALLY said im right!!!!!!!!!! ALLELUIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go For it!
You are so rite! My friend does that to me all the time, she tells me to get a boyfriend, or she won’t be my friend, she tells me to shop @ AE, Hollister, Abercrombie, or Limited Too, but I can’t afford all that stuff, and my parents don’t want to spend so much money on clothes! Your message inspired me to tell her to either like me for me, or BACK OFF, thanx!
Bummed about being the Best!!!
I am really stressed. I am so tired of being worried about school, sports, chores and this and that. I love sports so much! But I have to have at least an 80% average to play on sports teams. And lately my grades have sort of been slipping. It sucks because I am one of the best players and all the team looks up to me. Some times I feel like the best answer is….. well not being here. I really like being popular, smart and athletic but it comes at a price. People make fun of me because I am smart and they think it doesn’t hurt but it really does. I pretend it doesn’t hurt but deep down it really does. What I find helps the most is turning on my ipod and shooting hoops for hours or taking a long run. It really sucks being under so much pressure. People think that people who can’t do anything get bullied, well that is the biggest lie I have ever heard! I just keep dealing, hopefully I won’t snap under the pressure.
dont worry
just keep working hard on your grades if they make fun of you just remember what you like best and your not the one failing
Break and Ballance
Try taking a break from it all. To relieve stress, you could take a buuble bath or just spend some time alone listening to music or just taking a nap. As for your different activities, try making a schedule that gives you time for each thing that you need to do. If you have soccer, make time before practice to finish your homework, or maybe take it with you and work during water breaks. You also may want to explain to your friends that it hurts when they tease you, and that you work hard to get where you are. Follow these tips and the pressure will all end.
Talk to your princepal and teachers
Find some time to relax (don’t work too hard!), and talk to your parents about this. If you can’t keep your grades at eighty but are trying really hard, get them to arrange a meeting with your princepal or whoever takes care of that and talk with them about it. If you’re doing your best, and you and your parents are satisfied, I think that you should be allowed to play on the team!!!!
I agree!!
I agree!! I am that girl too. People think that being good at someone relieves you from pressure. But it is the oppisite! If you are good at something then there is more pressure because there are standards. I am usually a straight A student and this year I got a C in science. I got made fun of more than the people who actually failed. Same in sports and everything else. It hurts. Being popular is great ,you have fun, have boyfriends,have lots of friends and it seems like there is no pressure. But that is the trickl…there is!!! I think I am going to break sooner or later!! Give me some advice!!
clam down
well maybe you could take a day off and just play with your friends or relax.Forget about everything and have fun
think about your good side
its not like every girl is perfect but if you look at your good things about you you will feel better even if you think the other girl is better just remember your not the only one with dissopontments just be who you are every ones special in there own way !! -gladys ,age11, fl
PERFECT
We all have to remember that we’re human beings and none of us are perfect.
the pressure to be perfect
the pressure to be perfect is endless parents want you to do your best and get A+’s in every single subject, meanwhile you have gymnastics or soccer and your parents want you to do great in that to , and your friends want you to always be there when they need you . the best thing you can do is realize that everyone is pressured to be perfect not just you tell your friends, parents, coachs, anyone else how you feel they’ll realize that theyre goals for you arent that easy to accomplish . even models in magazines have flaws that are airbrushed so it looks like they dont have any those models are beautiful but theyre not perfect . when you meet a perfect person be sure to tell me because i havent met one yet . people just seem perfect beacuse some are beautiful but arent good at art, some are good at drawing but horrible at math .when you think you’ve met a perfect person get to know them because as soon as you see them from a different prespective they wont seem as perfect as you’ve thought have they ? Mary,age 13, Canada
Trying to be Perfect
It is a waste of time. Just try to be you and have fun while doing it. Being perfect is boring because you wouldn’t have to try to accomplish things. If everyone was perfect,then the world would be boring . I am glad that no one is.
Im not perfect
Im not perfect and i know it. Sometimes i’ll look at the popular people and wish i could have that many friends or be that pretty but then i think how great my friends are and how happy i am with them. I know that you don’t have to be popular to be happy.
well no body’s
well no body’s perfect.Neither are the populars.I learned that this past year.Usually there the ones that are always getting into trouble.Just be your’e self and everything will fall into place.
being Perfect
I know not everybod’s perfect, even i’m not perfect. And i’m okay to admit that. You can’t be perfect but you can do your best and try your hardest, and that’s all that matters.
All you need to do is...
When I’m feeling down about something that I’m being pressured on I listen to the song “Nobody’s Perfect” by Hannah Montana!!! It defintely relieves my stress!!!
-Jn
I Life isn’t a movie, you
I Life isn’t a movie, you only get one shot. I don’t want to waste my time worrying what other people think of me or if I look like the stars on T.V. If I like the way I look then thats all that matters.
totally hit home
It’s awful how today the media has an image that all people have to fit into. Anyone even slightly athletic will NOT be able to wear super small clothes, but if we can’t fit into them, the media tells us that we aren’t beautiful. If we dont have blonde hair? We aren’t beautiful. If we dont wear makeup? We aren’t beautiful. If we cant sing? We aren’t beautiful If we fail a test? We aren’t beautiful If we dont have a boyfriend? We arent beautiful This attitude is so stupid, and its us girls that have to change these stereotypes The media will change stereotypes if they no longer help them to sell a product- if enough of us go against these stereotypes and just be ourselves- maybe some of the pressure from the media will leave. wouldn’t that rock. Bri.
so not perfect!
when school was in, every one got mad at me. want to know why- because i’m a little smarter. and good at art, music. they thought i was perfect. it didn’t help that i didn’t get in trouble. i had few friends in my class.also cuz i don’t listen to what music they thought was cool (and i did- and do and like it!) or cause i’m a little quieter- at school. and only cause i was new in fourth grade and came from mexico (i’m not mexican- just lived there a little while). people think i’m just different. which i am, there’s nothing wrong with it! so i hang out with people who like me because i’m like i am! people who apprieciate me instead of trying to find fault in me, and being mad if i got something they would have been so happy if some one else got. and i am glad i hang out with them! we get along much better.
Perfect is soooo out!!!
in my art class, we talked about how its so not normal to be normal. its not possible to be normal or perfect….normal is so out!! LOL!!!!! also, if you want to make new friends and become more friends with other people, sit at different tables at lunch. when i wanted to expand my friendship circle, i started to sit at the table that i wanted to become friends with. at first it is really hard to make that transition, and at first you seem out of your place, but if you keep on sitting there and talking to the people u want to become friends w/, after a while it will be normal for u to sit there. invite people to come over and sleepover. at first, it is sooo hard and my mom helped me through this, but it really helps if u want to become friends w/more people. also, take the things that are different about yourself and use it to make u who u are. like if someone says oh, u always get As, or u are so good at everything, u can say ya!! and point to ur head to be cutsey or you can say something like “Well, I may be good at art, but I can’t tell jokes like u can!!”I do that all the time, and it really works!!! GOOD LUCK I HOPE THIS ADVICE HELPS U!!!!
Danibanani
GOOD AT....
Almost everything. And sometimes this really really sucks. You guys have it good, people don’t have such high expectations and then make you feel bad when you don’t meet the bar…. A 94 on my reading finals, what my teacher said “Arianna, i am very disapointed..” Like, OMG. I got an A at least, for cripes sakes! I am also a very ;arge participant of school shows and because i take classes and perform at The NJPerforming Arts Center, my language arts and drama instructors have the same interests and ideas and trust me to run things…that’s really the part that i like..That i’m good at something i love doing. I’m also good at sports, but when i started comparing my sports skills to my all star best friend i started feeling bad about myself. That’s when i realized that she isn’t as good as me in theatre arts..Bottom line? No one’s GOOD AT EVERYTHING. But we’re all good at SOMETHING. So remember to be proud of YOUR accomplishments!! Just as proud as your best friend would be of you! Don’t be jealous, it’s a nasty brick wall that brakes us all apart!
GOOD AT...
You’re totally right!! You Go, Girl!!!!! A lot of people come up to me and say, “let me guess-you got a 100.” And I say “yeah, isn’t that great?” And they say, “oh” as if they were not surprised or even happy for me. Then they go and whisper with their friends. Just because I am smart doesn’t mean they have to make fun of me. They call me teacher’s pet and that hurts my feelings. I try not to show it. One day I am going to get a shirt that says “teacher’s pet” across it. To show them I don’t care what they say.
Teacher’s Pet in Illinois, age 10
Being Perfect
I know I can’t be perfect and sometimes its hard to except that. But I don’t try to be perfect and I don’t dwell on not being perfect either. I just be the best I can be which is an amazing person. Everyone is special in their own way and you dont have to try to be perfect all the time. UNLEASH THE ESSENCE OF WHO YOU ARE AND BE PROUD OF YOURSELF. AND REMEMBER THAT NO ONE IS PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
—-Emy
Don't push it!
I’m usually a straight A student so when I got a B last year on my report card I cried. But then I realized that a B was a very good grade and that I shouldn’t beat my self up just because I’m not perfect because no one is!
Good Grades or Bad?
I totally understand you Molly. I once got a 95 on a math final and felt really good about it . Then the girl next to me got a 101 and I felt stupid. I then realized that a 95 was an A and that I should be proud of my work and not judging myself by other people’s grades. just do your best!!!
Nobody's Perfect
It’s just like the Hannah Montana song,”Nobody’s Perfect.”Nobody really is perfect.We all have our flaws.One girl may wear acne, and the other may have an abnoxious laugh, but no one is flawless.
nobodys perfect
hey i agree with you!!!!!!!! i have major pimplesand blackheads but i know its just a flaw and who cares about it! Hannah Montana knows what shes talking about!!!!!!!! she is the reason that i dont care about my flaws because i know that Hannah Montana even has her flaws!!!!!!!!!
PERFECT
NOBODYS IS COMPLEATLY PERFECT EVEN IF THEY ARE IN SCHOOL _ _ Jenna
Imposible!
being perfect is impossible! because of that no body is perfect! But saying that is like saying everybody is! whenever you feal preassured 2 b perfect, focus on all of your positive aspects. or turn that preasure into modavation to improve!
___ Munkys Rokk
Dont Compare yourself to others!!!!!
I have 2 brothers in my same grade. i always end up comparing my grades and stuff to them, and it makes me feel awful. i am not that good at science and math, so when i got an 87 on my report card for math, i was kinda dissapointed, and i felt soooo horrible when my brother got an 101!! but then i think that my brothers can not write stories as well as i can and they can not draw as well as me. SO DO NOT DO NOT COM{ARE YOURSELVES TO OTHERSQ!!!!!!!!
Perfect???
There is no such thing as perfection (even if some people think there is). I think girls spend too much time trying to be perfect when it is impossiable.
Miranda
PERFECT?????
Agreed! You don’t need to be perfect!
nobodys perfect
not everybody can be perfect in fact nobody is perfects.you may think some one is perfect but there not.
~Tessa~
The preassure is ON!!!
My school got the NewYork State Testing progams this year,so I’m really smart(Which means High expectations!)and when school ended we got our scores. I read em and they were high for my age-group(SUCCESS!)but my dad get’s really upset about my last score(87 which is also high)and said,”Isabella what’s wrong with this score?! It’s the lowest.” and I’m like,”Umm…it’s the lowest.”. So he keeps screaming on how i need to study hard and how i’m a big dissapointment!! So im so bummed which means HUGE expectations for 4th Grade!!. The preassure is on,so i want tips on how to make the “preassure” go away.
—Isabella
Isabella
Tell your dad that you tried your best. At lest it’s not a D. Before a test tell yourself that you can do it and that you’re going to try your best.
-Lindsey
RE: the pressure is ON!!!
You should just tell your dad that you did your best and you’ll try harder. Personally I think your dad was kinda harsh, but different parents have different expectations. It seems like you need to put less pressure on yourself.
—-Emy
NO BODY IS PERFECT ISABELLA!!!
Isabella,you should be proud of yourself for such a big accomplishment.Tell your dad that you are only trying your best.Tell your father that you are lucky enough to be so smart already.It could be A LOT worse.To help feel relaxede I recomend a nice hot bath and then a movie.It really calms you down.Hey,nobody’s perfect.
Rose
Ms. Smarty
I’m the one that’s in the gifted program (smart class) and when I got my math test back I miss one problem. Then the title one math tacher asked how many 100% papers there were and my teacher said two. Then my title one math teacher said I bet I know who one of them was. Then she looked at ME ( she knows I’m smart because she asks that question every time we take a math test) My taecher said IT WASN’T HER THIS TIME. I felt bad for missing a problem then I said to myself I TRIED MY BEST!
-LINDSEY
me 2 !!!
I’m in the gifted program 2. There is alot of presure, but I do what you do, tell myself i did my best. : )
Me too!
Im in the smarties class too! The gifted class my teacher likes to call it. I try not to make a big deal out of it. But its so much preassure to my social life. Also considered a some sort of poppie,I get treated normal. But my teacher is a big stickler in the math buisness!
—Isabella
2 Lindsey!!
dont get down so what if u didn get the highest score just say ” i did my best and thats all that matters”. im in a math class ( not the smart kind) and i stink at math and i get down sometimes but i no that i can pick myself up and my friend pick me 2
PRESSURED TO BE PERFECT
NO GIRL SHOULD BE PRESSURED TO BE PERFECT. BECAUSE NOBODY’S PERFECT. IF YOU DON’T THINK THAT YOU’RE PERFECT PURCHASE A HANNAH MONTANA2 CD AND LISTEN TO SONG #2 (Nobody’s Perfect) DON’T THINK THAT IF YOU GET A B ON YOUR TEST YOU’RE DUMB! THAT’S ACTUALLY A GOOD SCORE. IF YOU THINK YOUR CLOTHES ARE WEIRD JUST SAY THAT I HAVE A UNIQUE STYLE.
NOBODY’S PEFECT
-Lindsey
Nobody's Perfect!
All of Hannah Montana’s fans know this song… Nobody’s Perfect! The thing that I like best about this song is the fact that it speaks nothing but the truth! She’s right nobody is perfect! We may think that some person is, but from her point of veiw she could be thinking that you’re perfect! It’s hard to keep the fact that nobody is perfect in mind, but if you do you’re sure to ace the test on self-confidence!!!
Pressure....LOTS!!!
I’m popular and the pressure’s on!!! Everyone looks up to you, so if you’re having a bad hair day or have a zit, you’re doomed!! I don’t think girl’s understand how much pressure they’re putting on us! Thankfully, I know I’m not perfect, but many others don’t! So if you’re majorly wanting to be in the popular crowd, think if you can stand the pressure of others, including the expectations coming from you!!!!
Perfection drove me crazy
The need to have perfection literally drove me crazy. A few years ago, back in elementary school, I started feeling pressured to be perfect. As time went by, I started developing Obsessive Compulsive Disorder because I was so concerned over being perfect, and then I started having panic attacks (which are NOT fun!). About two years ago I was diagnosed with OCD, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and depression. I’m now taking two medications to help with these things, and working with a nice counsellor and talking to my sister (who is training to be a social worker). School sometimes gets really pressuring-sometimes I have five hours of homework a day-and it takes all you are made out of to keep focused and not go crazy. I was practically hospitalized because of my obsession with gettting 100’s and being the perfect musician and the perfect daughter, and liked by everyone. Had I not gotten help when I did, I probably would have developed a serious eating disorder, because I felt like I had to be perfect looking too (I’m VERY short and just plain average in weight, so it was hard). Perfection nearly drove me crazy…don’t let it happen to you! I think something is very very wrong with our society if young girls are developing serious, debilitating conditions out of a quest for perfection. We should just try our best, and forget about being perfect-but that’s easier said then done!!!!!!!!!!
Compassion
I totally know how you feel. I was very fusterated as a young child, and when I was five, I acted like a little monster. I actually had OCD and axiety issues, like you. I just didnt know how to handle it. My teacher, Julia didnt help much either. However, there was a principle at the Montessori school I went to. Her name was Bernadine. She was a very special person who loved children. She helped me with my problems and encouraged me to write, which is my God-given talent and one of my favourite things to do. Writing helps me thoroughly express my feelings and helps me inspire others as well. Lots of other ppl have helped me along the way too, and I can’t thank them enough. I think of how some ppl I’ve encountered on my journey thought I was beyond hope, but all I needed was a push in the right direction. I just want them to see where I am now. I have great friends, supportive family, and am a high honour student. I see a theripist about once every month now. I know that there is a bright future ahead of me, and I will go far in life. Yes, I know I can’t be perfect, but I still try to be the best I can be. That is even better than perfection in my eyes.
—-Emy
DEAR COMPASSION
I’m telling ya,you should be so proud of yourself! I admire that you accomplished all your goals in such a tough situation.Atually I’m like
you,too.I make high honors,and LOVE to write.Thanks!
—maddy
Dont listen
I had an eating disorder. I stopped eating because i hated the way i looked and everyone has judging me, thought i was to fat, to heavy and i still do, but i learned there are better ways to deal with that, like the gym. Anyway, if anyone has an eating disorder, i recomend you stop. You see, you get very very pale skin, major bags under your eyes, your always freezing cold and when ever you do diside to eat, you cant eat very much, ecause you stomach has shrunk so much and it always hurts. Just remember, there’s always a solution for everything
There's no such thing as perfect!
I know how you feel. A lot of the time I feel like I have to be perfect to be liked. I’m in five sports: figure skating, soccer, swimming, basketball and track, I play piano and clarinet, and I go to a private school where mostly everyone is smart and grades really matter. Sometimes I get totally stressed because I think, oh no, I made a mistake, I’m not good enough anymore, but really that’s not true. I love my activities, but sometimes I need a break. Don’t feel awful because you have to stop and take some times to think. Just remember there’s no such thing as perfect, and no one should have to deal with the stress and pressure that
Nobody's Perfect!
Nobody in those whole world is perfect!!! Every single person has got a flaw and that;s what makes us all unique and special!!! many people are imperfect but they have all lead great lives! thats how i think we should accept everyone and be ourselves!! Also there’s this song by Hannah Montana called Nobody’s Perfect!!! Whenever my friends feel “imperfect” i ask them to listen to that song and it makes them feel better!!!
xoxo Alyson =D
I definetly agree
I think that every one has at least two flaws; a correctable one and an uncorrectable one. The first is always in the personality, while the latter is in the looks. I have a ton of freckles, and that’s not going away any time soon. But I always remember that if I had red hair, I’d look like a Weasley (laughs)! So, I always turn any frowns upside down (laughs)!
Perfection
I used to have a friend who was really pretty and everybody liked her. I used to think she was perfect, but then i found out that she thought I was perfect !! Now we both know that nobody’s perfect, and God made us all beautful in our own way. : )
Alana, age ?,Md.
I Hate The Future!
I always try to make honor roll in school and I do but it’s so stressful! I tend to procrastinate but I force my self to pay attention and it’s tough! I’m always thinking about how a bad grade might change my future and I might not get into Stanford (my dream collage) so I’m stressed out in school all the time! Someone help me!
-Afriad of the Future
Don't procrastinate!
Here are some tips: 1.Write down all assignments so u don’t forget them 2. Ask the teacher if u don’t understand (go ask the teacher before or after school if you’re embarrassed 3. Try to pay attention but don’t stress yourself out! 4. Ask your teacher to give you extra credit if u get a bad grade. They want u to get bad grades so they’ll help u out 5. Set goals for yourself and reward yourself when u get a good grade!
Don't Worry!!!
I really want to go to Stanford too, because I have visited it, luv the campus, and my dad went there. ( Hey, maybe we’ll see eachother there! LOL!) But, I am not stressed, because I know that I can only do what I can, and I am a very good student. Anyway, I have to try to live in the moment and not worry so much about the future. That doesn’t mean I don’t try hard in school, (I do, I’m on honor roll, a straight A student and play two sports and the piano as well.) but I remind myself to do the best that I can and be happy with that. -TWKGirl
Not fair
You know what’s not fair? The bad kids get rewarded when they are good, but there are kids who are ALWAYS good and they don’t get rewarded because the teachers expect that from them. I think kids who are helpful and smart and good friends and don’t get in to trouble should be reconized more by the teachers…and for that matter, the student body!
I agree
Not Fair is sooooooooooooooooo right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bad kids beING REWARDED
i tottally agrre at my school we have somthing called fun friday and if you don’t hav e failing grades,3 zeros or detion then you get to go i got to go. but when we got back to school the kids who had tostay behind where outside playing and they told us about thier day wich included free pizza dancing on tables and music in the luch room NOT FAIR