BFF...Back to Normal, Please!
Dear Ali,
One of my best friends just got a boyfriend. I’m really happy for her, but lately she’s acting all girly and trying too hard to impress him. I was over at her house one day when he was there. We were looking through the paper and she said, “I read the sports section every day.” But I know she doesn’t because I’m always telling her who won the baseball game and how our local football team is doing. My other friends have noticed, too. We want her back the way she was before!
-Want My Friend Back!
Isn’t it sad when girls try to change for boys? Unfortunately, it happens all the time. If you’ve ever stretched the truth just a little in order to fit in, maybe you can understand where your friend is coming from‹and that will make it easier to talk to her. So, what to say? First, let her know that you’re happy for her. Then gently explain that you’ve noticed that she acts different around her boyfriend. Tell her that you don’t think she should have to change to be liked by him–or anyone else–because she’s awesome just the way she is. She may not be ready to hear what you’re saying, but you might be able to get her to think a little bit harder about what she’s doing. If she doesn’t listen, be patient. The boyfriend may soon be history, and you’ll have your friend back!
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Ali’s column appears in every issue of the magazine. She regrets that she cannot answer letters personally.
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Boys. Can’t live with
Boys. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. This is the age it happens. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t let you’re friend know how you feel. She probably doesn’t even know that she’s acting differently. You should let her know how you feel, and that will help a lot. Approach her gently, and tell her how you feel. Don’t yell or scream, be nice.
BFF... Backto normal please!
Hey, that’s just what happens sometimes. don’t B afraid to tell her what u think.sit down with her, and just talk. If that doesn’t work, just wait it out. she’ll come back eventually.
Remember,b :) and B yourself
(inter-carrie)
when bffs go bad
sometimes, bffs get weird when they are first getting the attention of the boys, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends still. pick moments when “he” is not around, but be on your guard. i have a friend who sounds like your friend, in an updated mode. she has become a girly backstabber. she talks behind peoples backs now, and tells them their stupid. its almost an overnight transformation
boys
same here my friend has a major crush she wont stop im going to take alys advice
nora
tell her
tell Her that you really like her but she is concentrating on her bf too much. And say to her that you miss her old self. If you don’t want to do this then go to some activity with no boys she likes and hang out!
girl from new york
BOYS
On November 16th, 2007
- reply
My best friend a***** p***** has a boy friend and he takes he attion away from me. I tell her to stop but doesnt all aways listen. I feeling you.
talk to her
talk to ur friend and tell her to stop trying to impress the boy!! a boy should like u for who u r and not wat u pre10 2 b. and if he doesn’t like u 4 not reading the sports or whatev, he’s not worth it and say what’s up? A BREaKUP! seriously!
Crazy, huh?
Boys make us do crazy things! Isn’t it ironic how we adore who ignore us and ignore who adore us? Think about it.
Just tell her how you feel!
If I were you, I would go up to her and just tell her how you feel about her having a boyfriend. You should do it alone when it is just the 2 of you, because she might get mad or angry and say that you are jealous. But you are defiantly not, your actually happy for her. You should tell her that she can have a boyfriend if she just has sometime to hang with friends and sometimes to hang with the boyfriend. Don’t stop being her friend she is just in a stage right now but soon enough that stage might be over before you know it.
please come back i miss u
My friend has a new boyfriend and i never get to play with her anymore.I am very happy for her and her boyfriend .All i want to do is have my friend back before i move i dump my boyfriend because we promised we both would so we could have fun together but she didn’t so i have my boyfriend back .And me and my boyfriend always wait for her or she used to wait for us but now her boyfriend walks her to her bus. Please come back.
omg
omg…I completely changed my personality so that a guy could like me and lost one of my best friends…I learned the lesson the hard way unfortunately. Eventually, she will snap out of it..if you let her know. She’s probably like totally unaware of what she’s doing…because I was too. Be happy for her and give her time. Talk to your Mom about it our maybe another friend could give you advise.
Goooood luck!
<3 Kelly
Dont worry
I was once that snobby girl who left her best friend for a boy she liked. My BFF sat me own and told me how she felt. At first, it really annoyed me. But, i realized what a wrong thing i was doing when she looked so sad. I didnt break up with my boyfriend, but when he constantly wanted me to walk to class with him or eat lunch with him, I kindly asked if my BFF could come. I’m sure that if you ask your friend to hang out with you some more, and tell her how you feel about what shes doing, she’ll come to her senses, and always remember, somtimes, its just not worth it… ~from~ MIss. I’m better now!
advice 4 u!
Talk to your friend and tell her you miss the way she used to be. If she is a good friend, she will respect how you and your other friends feel. Remember: Words can make a difference! Talking to her may help the problem.
—Alexa
Something to help you and BFF
If your BFF cares about her boyfriend more than you you have to talk to her before you do anything else. If you tried this and she still doesn’t understand maybe u shouldn’t friend anymore.
omg
its not a good idea to try to impress someone
omg
yah its not a good idea at all to try to impress someone trust me ive tried it and it didn’t work out at all it ended in me being soooooooo embarressed
me too!
I also changed last week and lost my best friend.But it actually worked with the boy.Let’s just say that none of this should happen agian!
Thats really rude for her to
Thats really rude for her to do that but HEY what can ya do? Boys make girls do craaaazy things!! You should get a good time when shes not with her Boy Friend and tell her how you feel! she would understand and snap right out of it!
She should not lie to be bfs
She should not lie to be bfs with him. She should say well I am sorry that I lied about this and that to him.If he broke up with her just because of that….she did the right thing.
~TOP ADVICE GIRL~
No Lies!! :-(
i think that lying to a person to be their friend,B.F or G.F (boyfriend or girlfriend) is so wrong .Just being yourself is the best thing you can do, your soon -to-be friends will want the real you, not some cheesy fake artifitial person be the real YOU!! .over and out - T.V.i.t.B.o.Y.H (The voice in the back of your head) ;-)
friends and boyfriends
my friend does the same thing, except it’s not her boyfriend!!!! it’s just a friend of hers and she treats me like he does..invisible. it’s like she’s known them longer than she’s known me! she’s known him 3 years and me eight years! theres a BIG difference there!!!
Be there
be there for your friend. Tell her that you like her for being her and that if she feels she needs to change for a boy then he is NOT WORTH IT she may not be able to relize it now but in the long run she will thank you. stick by her though
boys(a.k.a friendship wreaker).
I think you should ask your friend over to your house and once you two have been hanging out a while bring up the subject. you should be gentle about it so she does not get mad. tell her how you feel and she might change. it might take a while for her to finally snap out of it,so don’t lose hope to soon.
I think you should ask your
I think you should ask your friend sometime if you two can talk alone.Once you and her are alone,tell her how you feel.Your friend may not have relized yet that she is making you and your friends feel like this.It might take a while after you tell her for her to loosen up.Hope this helps! -Sara
BFF Change Up
One of my friends was just the first in our group to get a boyfriend and she has been acting all grown up now like her boyfriend might be anywhere. But, when he boyfriend is around they’re all kidish together. I know how you feel!!
No reason to be rude
Okay that is totally awful of her girls shouldnt try to impress guys that hard, you should talk to your bud!
talk
talk with her without her boyfriend and explain the situation.i know how it is when your friend has a boyfriend.its soooooo annoying!
connections
oviously the boy likes ur best friend because of her self not her new self. when i had my first kind of relationship [we broke up ha ha] i was my self tell your friend if u just be urself than u will probally like her so she is telling the truth and her boyfriend wont break up with her for not being her self get wat i mean
Ignored!
Try hanging out with new friends. She won’t date this guy forever! Sooner or later, (hopefully sooner) she will realize what a lowzy friend she’s been!
Tell your friend that she
Tell your friend that she doesn’t need to change for this guy.If he really liked her-he would like her the way she is. Tell your friend to just try being herself around the guy. See what happens
Why cant boys and girls just be friends?
My guyfriend has a girlfriend. His girlfriend be mean to me because she jealous of me. At fist I though he ditch for his girlfriend and it was my fault. Kind of what happed in ” My Stepdad Doesn’t Love Me Anymore”. But this story has happy ending, instead of listening to her, he ended it and apologizes to me. So maybe your friend will do the same.
Yeah...
My sister hade a friend who would constintaly talk about her Bf. It annoyed my sister so much, she avoided her at all costs! See, my Sister didn’t like her friend’s Bf. And quite frankly, Neither did I. He wasn’t all that cute…
I understand what you're going through
I understand what you are going through. That happened to me once except it was when my friend Ella met her now-BFF Rylee, she started to turn into a bully and didn’t stand up for me because she was afraid that if she did, Rylee would get mad and not be her friend anymore. And now, we’re not friends anymore.
Boys are nothing but trouble, as this proves.
I have never been asked out, and I’m really lonely because of it, but this proves that I’m just lucky because boys can ruin friendships.
Same situation!
I have been through the same thing! My bff just got a boyfriend and now she will never stop talking about him and she never stops thinking about him! It makes it worse for me because I like him, too!
-Mistifoot
I'm like crying!
I have lost a friend because of the popular crowd too. I’m really like tearign right now! I’m so upset because she was a really good friend! And she was like my sister then, she got a bf, and forgot about her bffl. Sniff
Yeah, me too!
If i dont do what she wants me to do she always says” I wont be your friend then!” i really hope i get a new bff!! I did not know sixth-grade would be so hard!
Me Too!
Well… I kind of have a friend like that. She is really mean sometimes. Shes even pushed me for cheering for our football team for getting a TOUCHDOWN. I have told her to stop, and well… i just can’t take it anymore. I am in sixth grade too. I have made TONS of new friends and she has kind of gotten nicer. So your not the only one and hang in there!
Its okkkkk!!!
I know you probably feel bad right now. But think about it…did u try talkling to your friend??? If so, then i think its time to forget her, no matter how hard!!!
SHE NEEDS TO HEAR IT THEN..........
you should talk to her and say to her that u r happy for her but she needs to know that she is trying to hard and that if u hav a bf u should be able to be urself they should like you for who u r not how u act and if they like u only because how u act or wat u look like they are not someone u should be with!! hope that helps just remember that a boy should like u for who u r not what u look like or act!!!
The BFF was not being nice
The BFF was not being nice at all. She isn’t even being nice to her boyfriend. She is lying to him. I think if he finds out he is going to break up with her.
Give her time
There comes a time where every girl gets there first boyfriend. It is an exciting experience. Girls feel like we have to change in order to keep this perfect guy. She will get over him and he is probably not her soul mate. If you are really upset, talk to her and tell her not to change just for this one guy. He dated her because of the girl he met before your friend changed, not this new version she is giving him. He may not like her now that she is changing. Tell her that and maybe she will come back to reality. Good luck
I Feel Your Pain
I conpletey relate. Because one of friends has a GF. Im happy 4 him. But sometimes feel left out, he use to eat lunch with me and sit with me at art class all the time. Now he dose with her. I dont know what to do!!
U should talk to ur BFF about it, just let her know.
Meggie here 4 all girls!!
Truth
Did your friend act all sports-loving when she got her boyfriend? If so, she probably only liked him because he is cute or smart or something, and he only likes her for sports or her girliness. If she acted normally, that’s the girl her boyfriend likes and wants. Don’t interfere in their relationship too much, though. Your friend might think you’re jealous or are upset at her.
Hey I know how u feel!
When my BFF got a new boyfriend, wow was it CRAZY! She changed ALOT. I had a “heart - to- heart” talk with her and i told her to stop being all girly for her boyfriend. I told her to just be herself because after all, that is what matters. Maybe u should talk to her too.Good luck! [= LOL
dont give up!
your bff probally is just excited! once she gets over this you’ll be happy.
Why Can't Boys Go Back To Cooties?
I’m in a similar situation where my friend has a boyfriend, and she thinks it’s the most important thing in the world. She keeps talking about how she has been “heartbroken” before, but it all sounds so dumb to me. I think that we’re still too young for boyfriends, but she won’t listen to me because I’ve never actually had a crush before. How do I deal with it? Well, it’s hard sometimes, but I’ve learned to let it go. If she wants to have a boyfriend, then that’s her problem, her mistake, because the only point of dating at ages like this is for the sake of dating-not because you actually love the guy. I’d rather stick with boys as friends, and that’s it. But my friend different than I am, and I have to accept that. I agree with Aly-you should definitely talk to her. Tell her that you don’t mind if she has a boyfriend, but you’d really like her to go back to the way she used to be before she got him. Tell her that if the boyfriend is a real and true friend, she shouldn’t need to have to impress him. Cause’ even at a young age, she should know that looks aren’t everything! I hope I helped! ;)
Little advice to u
Well i hav som advice 4 u. I understand that it is sad for a girl to lie just to impress a boy! So here is som advice. Tell ur friend how u feel somtimes that works i know it works 4 me! Don’t worry this will end soon i’m sure they won’t b together 4eva! It is kinda exciting gettin a boyfriend so i kind of understand were she is coming from but lying and changing herself is not good. Ask her to stop lying + be ur self the only reason he had dated her is becuase of who she was inside. Tell her that.