Baffled by Boys

Dear Ali,

I am mad! No boys like me. All of the cute boys at my school like the same three girls, and they’re all skinny and blond. (I’m the exact opposite.) How come no boys like me? I’m not the most gorgeous girl in the world, but I am pretty. And I’m smart. And I’m trying to lose weight. (Although that isn’t working out too well.)

–Feeling Ugly

Please don’t let the boys in your class change the way you see yourself! It is hard to understand what they’re thinking, but keep in mind that kids your age—girls and boys—want to fit in. Some boys in your class may actually be crushing on other girls but not want to admit it. Not fair, right? Of course not, but girls aren’t much different. (Isn’t every girl in your class crushing on the same few boys?) Someday there will be a boy who sees all your wonderful qualities—promise. In the meantime, remember that there are lots of interesting things in life besides boyfriends. Oh, and about the weight thing…talk to an adult you trust about whether or not you really need to lose. If you do, ask for help in putting together a healthy plan to eat right and exercise. But if you’re just trying to get skinnier so a boy will like you…is that really who you want to be?

Average rating
(1828 votes)

Write to Ask Ali

Have a problem?

Send Ali your question

Ali’s column appears in every issue of the magazine. She regrets that she cannot answer letters personally.

Comments

Baffled By Boys

I thought the same thing to until I found out that some boys did like me! Chances are that you don’t know it, but there are probably 2 boys at least that like you, they’re just too shy to tell you! At my school, most of the boys like the same three girls. But not all of them!!!

Baffled By Boys

I agree with this comment. I thought the same thing at my school until I found out that there were boys who did like me. Don’t change the way that you look or act like. There are boys out there who like you for who you are!

Baffled By boys

At first a boy in my class called me a nerd because I am supposedly very smart, after, I found out thta he liked me.

It's o.k.

The girls in blond hair and who are thin doesn’t make them specual! They can’t help the way they look! Trust me, because I’m one of those girls.( only brown hair.) I go to my dance class and to school and the kids still treat me like dirt and don’t make me feel special!

And for the boys, forget about them. There boys! They don’t know how to think and act! ( trust, me! I’m around them all the time! ) You’ll find one that really likes you and who you are. Not a dumb boy who doesn’t care!

And for losing weight, diets aren’t good for kids, instead, eat and drink more healthy food and do excirsizes every day or get involved with a sport you like. But, i know your beautiful anyway!

-me

your looks do not mean you are liked more

In my school, all the boys like girls wth brown hair, and i am blonde. Don’t let boys bother you. There deffinetely is a boy who likes you out there, not ready to admit it.

Baffled by Boys

Ya i mean really. Some boys like girls cuz their pretty but some are smart and like girls for who they are. Just wait you’ll find someone who rlly likes and you like them. And for those popular girls ignore them.

Guys

why do guys not just come out and tell you how they feal one time this boy told me the year after he liked me last year how rude he should have told me that year what to do

bbb

she is right you know i do feel like that but then i found out that a really cute boy likes me and i am just an ordinary girl so please for the good of everyone dont change + what if a boy likes you for who you are?

bbb

yeahh. what if a boy likes you for who u are? and then, you changes everything— your hair color(trying to fit in) and your hair styLe(just like theirs, bcoz u think that’s one reason those boys like her/them)and how you dress… when the boy who secretly likes you saw what you did, he’ll be so disappointed bcoz he likes you for who you are. not the gurl who was trying to fit in! JUST BE YOURSELF!! accept yourself for who you are and it will explains everything! remember— EVERYONE’s UNIQUE!!! ;)

—i’mjustme! =]

Exactly

Some of the boys there like you, just not the ones you want to. Its a common problem.

Be you

Don’t worry about how other girls look, or the cute boys’ that like the girls. I’m sure alot of boys like you for who you are. And who ever said that girl’s with blond hair and that’s skinny is pretty and popular? Just becouse they look so pretty to you and seem the best, there not!!! Be who you are and come up with your own amazing you and style. You won’t be going to people, people will come to you!

—Lexie—

Exactly

heres some tips for if the boys that you dont want to like you. 1st you should just try to be cool but most importantly you should be your self. After you spent like 3 days doing that ignore the boys you dont like but they like you. You sound like a very nice pearson. By the way you should always not give a clue that you like him. Oh and remember if you do get to go on a date with him always make sure that a friend is eating at the same restraunt or watching the same movie.

I know how you feel!

I know how you feel! Theres this girl in my class that told me theres only two girls in my class that nobody likes. And one of them was me! It’s so unfair! But we should all just get over it!

i fell the same way

all the skinny girls are mostly picked in my class and i dont get it, they dress like they’re teens and put lip stick and so much gloss and i dont know why they dont like me, im fun, smart and pretty, im a little chubby but not that much, i try to get over it, but it gets annoying.

Exactly

I feel the same way

TEASING

At my school I have guy friends, but they have other friends. My guy friends friends tease me all the time. Boys just tease you when they like you. You might feel rejected but thats how boys think. Boys think weird. I know this because the boy who teased me the most asked me out. I dont get boys, but never feel down when boys tease you.

Baffled By Boys

That’s the same way I feel. All boys say i’m ugly at my school. If you like this boy and he said your ugly. Don’t listen to them! Find another boy you like and that likes you. I found a boy that likes me just for who I am. I don’t want to be like those snobby girls at school. I want to be myself and have fun with my life.

P.S. Live your dream not no one elses dream cause that would be a mix up.

too true!

THat is definetly way toooooo true!! The same thing about me too! Every boy in my school seemed to like these 3 girls espesially!! I would be angry and have so much envy that I would get behind on my studies! I guess boys are part of my life and the I’m forced to deal with it wheather I like them or not, but dont let a boy make you fall behind! It’s more important that a girl is herself, not just some girls she can baraly recognize! :)

I Know How You Feel! :(

I know exactly how you feel all the boys like two skinny blondes and none like me! and im a little chubby i get over it tho :(

Boys are NOT shy!!!!

Boys are soooo NOT afraid or shy to tell agirl they like her…. Cause most guys think they’re soo HOT and really they’re NOT. If guys think they’re hot then there’s a 99.9% chance that they’ll tell the girl cause they think all the girls like him when they really don’t. Besides it’s not true what you said about that there’s at least 2 boys in the classroom that like you cause guys look at every little detail on a girll and if there’s something not pretty about the girl even if it’s really little and you can’t even see it then they’ll just not like you and if one boy says you’re ugly then all the boys think you’re ugly cause guys are afraid to like someone that his friends don’t like….. BUT ALL BOYS ARE NOT THE SAME . But I CAN GUARANTEE that there’s at leat 3 boys in this world that would think you’re the most beautiful girl on the planet. And at least one of those three boys would DIE to have you as a special someone.

Baffled by boys

At my school there is only one teacher per grade so you have the same boys in your class since you were 3 so it’s kinda weird to like like any of them.

baffled by boys

i agree all the cute guys in my classes are mostly my friends

baffled by boys

Same all of my guy friends are cute and everyone loves them. Sometimes well i guess I am popular cuz everyone likes me. As a firend. Me And my firends are popular and this is how it works the popular boys like the popular girls it is just like that. But right now its only friends…

           Thanks xoxoxo
                        MRC

The History of Guys!

If guys are like kinda mean to you they like you

If they are really, really nice to you they like you

If they are just your firend they may grow to like you and you may grow to like them…it happens a lot!

Mia 11

the wierdest thing in the world

guys who usually act really mean turn out to have a crush on you.like that other girl said, there are prbably 3 boys in the world that think youre the pretist girl on the planet.

totaly

Yeah, I completely believe that because… a. there was a guy who had a crush on me and he used to be really really nice to me. Then in middle school, he was mean to me. b. Theres this guy who I’m friends with, and everyone always says that he likes me. I think that may happen with us cause, well, in our school, its kind of awkward to just be friends because everyone always says “omg! u 2 should totaly go out!” its annoying (to both of us) but who knows? it could happen. so, yea, totaly believe that

—nel—

Thanks Mia

Mia, Thank you so much. That advice helped me make sense of a lot of things that are happening in my life right now. Especially that last one… My best guy friend and I are falling for each other, but since we’re only [age removed], we decided to stay friends until we got a little older. You made me feel like I wasn’t alone… That is a terrific feeling! You really helped me. Thanks again!!! Your friend, ~Katie

Tell you one thing..

I have to tell you something I read your story and I understand very much how you feel. The truth is I am one of those types of girls. Not the type you are but the other type. I have to tell you that it isn’t easy being the person I am. I mean ya a lot of guys like me. But I just be poliet. I’m not just going to shut someone off because they have feelings for me! We look how we look and we can’t change that! Now I’m not writting this to be mean or anything but can you see my point? You don’t really know what happens to the skinny, tall, blond girl when she’s not at school. If you ask me they arn’t doing anything to bug you! And if you really want a guy to like you just be confedent, stroung and hang out in a crowd of people. Because in that crowd there just might be a boy that likes you! When I ask my boyfriend why he likes me he says because I’m not afraid to be myslef. Another thing is try talking to the popular girl, I bet you’ll find out she’s a nice person with a really nice, outgoing personality!

BoysBoysBoys!!!

Sure we all want to have a boyfreind or someone who likes you! But wouldent you rather have someone who liked you for who you are not what you preteened to be?? So dont change for a guy and be yourself! Thats the way to get a guy to like you! The beutiful YOU!!! And who know there is probly a guy out there cant waiting to ask you out!!!!!!!!

Baffled By Boys

Same here, i used to think that no boys liked me and that i was so ugly, but i realized that you’re only beautiful if you tell yourself you are. And i also found out that a LOT of boys liked me and i am beautiful.

Baffled By Boys

Don’t worry about it! I thought the same thing too. At one point. But then I found out a lot of them did. You’ll find a boy who likes you when you least expect it!

Make Some Friends

Believe it or not…i have the same problem. This guy I like has loads of friends who are girls…including me. We are very good friends, but at the dance he just danced with this girl who was his “more than a friend” friend. But then one of my other guy friends asked me to dance… I had SOOO much fun! The next day he said that he liked me… I figured I should give him a chance and we have liked each other for three years and are still going strong. The point is just because that ONE GUY doesn’t like you, doesn’t mean you should give up! Lulu

Too Many Boys

I am the exact opposite from you. I feel really different. I am very cute i know. But these three cute boys at my school like me. They will not leave me alone they keep giving me comments. I am flattered by them but they fight over me. All three of them try to ask me to school parties and dances. But I am only 12 years old. My friends say im really lucky but i feel like I am stuck in the middle so take my advice don’t wish for a guy. You might have some cute guy fall for you so goodluck if two or more guys like you.

Boys aren't the only thing

Don’t waste your time freaking out about something you don’t have. Enjoy everyday you can and spend time making friends not chasing boyfriends. Try living every day like you never have before. Don’t loose your childlike facination of life

I agree, I like a boy at my

I agree, I like a boy at my school which 3 or more girls like, I am baffled if he likes me back! HELP. He likes one of my BF’s but she doesn’t like him…

same here

i know how u feel so MANY boys in my class like me but it did not seEM like they even noticed ,me

GIRLPOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We don’t always need to have a boy by our side to make us happy! The guys who are all after the same girls are jerks, having no actual brains. Kind of like clones. Some guys just use us to be popular. I think we should not depend on boys to make us feel secure! Sincerely, An Independent Mind

same

same here. i ‘ll never get them

Roxi

Baffled By Boys

Hey, that’ something similiar that happened to me. Don’t worry, some guy out there likes you for who you are! Maybe some boys don’t like like you, but they like you as a friend. If they get to know you better they might like you. Be positive! -MPC

Baffled By Boys

I feel the same way it is the same thing at my school. I am an average weight but all the boys like super skinny popular girls. My mom always says eventually you will find someone who likes you for who you are. There is more than one kind of beautiful. They should like you for who you are try not to pay any attention to those boys.

BOYS!? :-(

I hate it when boys only like girls for their looks! It ticks me off! I mean, reality check, boys! We’re all beautiful, and beauty isn’t everything! the most beautiful girl ever could be snobby and rude and not that smart and a boy shouldn’t like her just because she’s the most beautiful girl! Us girls need to stick together against boys like that!

Don't Worry

Don’t worry! I think every school has guys who like girls just for their looks! They don’t know anything. Guys will like you! I promise.

Guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most guys in most school only like girls for their looks. Guys need to figure out that there’s more to girls then their insides!

I know what your feeling!!!!!!

I tottaly know how you feel. its the same at my school! but dont worry i bet one guy likes you you just dont know it!

totally agree

omg! i totally agree with you! great comment!

I agree!!!

It really bugs me when boys only like girl for their looks. All girl are beautiful in their own way. All boys should know that.

this comment

i totally agree with you i think that she should just be herself and she will find the perfect guy!!

comment

yes. also, some girls are the same because they think they will be popular if they have a boyfriend. my friend didn’t even like a boy and when he asked her out, she said yes! Then people were saying things about it like….”she’s just trying to be cool.” She found out and she broke up with him. If you are in middle school or elementary school, don’t have a boyfriend! We are too young!

comment

I totally agree we are to young to have a boyfriend you can have a crush but i doesn’t have to be magor you just need to be yourself but don’t e mean to people who do have a guy

I MEAN REALY

ya i don’t need a boyfriend im only 10 like more than half of my grade have a boyfriend!! if i did get a boyfriend my daddy would kill me!! lol

——-LINDSEY 10

comment

You don’t need guys to be happy, I mean come on! If you think about it, there people just like you. You shouldn’t have a boyfriend until at least seventh grade. Crushes are OK, but don’t be obsessed! Guys are PURE trouble girl! :)

You dont need a boyfriend in middle school

Its so true that we don’t need boyfriends in middle school. The point of a boyfriend is that maybe you could get married, which is not what 12 year olds need to worry about!

Don't Change!

Hey, don’t worry about it! I’m sure you are perfect just the way you are and don’t change just because boys don’t like you! Maybe later on a boy will like you because of you! So don’t try to do anything to yourself because you are perfect just the way you are!

Just a Phase!!!!

It is okay that guys don’t like you yet! It might be for the best right now. One day you’ll meet the perfect guy! Don’t worry some guys at my school only like one girl for a while and then switch girls. It’s very frustrating sometimes but you will eventually get through it because we are girls… the strongest of them all!!!

Being Liked

I feel the same way sometimes. Most of the boys in my grade have liked my best friend because she’s really down-to-earth and pretty. However, none of them have seemed to like me. But I know that has nothing to do with the way I look, because I am pretty too. They just think I’m weird and stuff. Plus, I’m not very outgoing with boys. So personality is important as well. But I know that they’ll like me if they get to know me. You just hang in there. Everything will be fine.

i feel the EXACT same way!

i feel the EXACT same way! I am not the skinnest or prettiest person around but I do say I do have a personallity. Every boy in the school likes the same 5 beautiful, skinny, yet SNOBBY popular girls. I just don’t get it. I just get so upset =[

Being Liked

Hey girls! Hang in there! There is at least one boy that likes you. And the only reason why most boys go for the gorgeous, snobby girls is because they mature later then girls, and they haven’t exactly figured out that there are girls that have the full package, they are pretty and have a great personality! Remember, your all just a pretty as the most popular girl in school, and probably even better! Give the boys some time!

Mean Girls

I feel like no one likes me!!But I do know that someone does. their is a girl in my school that gets all the cute guys. and she was in my 3rd grade class. and she does not like me at all. i don’t like her that much either. but I’m still nice to her.And in 4th grade i had a big crush on this super cute guy!!And she told everyone i was so upset!!

-Lindsey

You shouldn't feel that way!

You shouldn’t feel that way!! If you have a great personality, chances are that the guy or guys that like you is, afraid to admit it because of the other boys. If the girls are snobby, well chances are that the guys say they “like” them because it seems the right thing to say because they’re pretty…Don’t worry, everything will fall into place when the time is right, and you’ll find the guy who ISN’T afraid to admit his feelings for you! =)

  • Jersey Sunshine!

reply to i feel the EXACT same way!

In middle school, it doesn’t really matter if you have boyfriends or not. Boys you meet in middle school aren’t going to be life partners, so really theres no point in haveing boyfriends. But also, people always say that the popular girls are snobby. One of my closest friends is the most popular girls in the grade and girls who aren’t friends with her think that she’s mean and snobby but really she’s one of the nicest girls i know. Just because shes pretty doesn’t mean she’s mean. Also, most boys dont like girls who are snobby and mean. So maybe you should try and get to know those popular girls and you’ll find out that your wrong.

Re:I feel the EXACT same way!!

Hang in there! Like the other comments said; You WILL find a person to like you. And I’m sure that you know a few right now!! DON”T get discouraged. Every one feels like this someday!!

thanks!!

Thank you so much for that comment!! that made me feel SOOOOOO much better! Thanks again!

Here's Some Advice About Boys

There arn’t that many people in my school but some girls are pretty and i’m pretty but I’m not gorgeous. I have a boyfriend but that was because i am nice and funny. I know that when boys go all ga ga about a gorgeous girl that he saw and when they go out they arn’t the right couple and they break-up. So just have a good personality. Be nice and sit at a differnt table at lunch. Get to know the boys. Just become really good friends before you become boyfriend and girlfriend. ~ToRi~

I know how you feel!

I know how you feel. At my school there’s three really popular girls and it seemed like every guy liked them. But guess what? Only about five guys in my whloe school liked them because they weren’t very nice. And I thought I was ugly all the time and I used to get soooo upset, but then one day I told my friend and she said that actully a lot of boys like me. I guess I thought I was ugly because I see myself everyday and I get used to what I look like. So after a while we start believeing we’re ugly, but we need to be reminded that we are pretty. And plus if your nice and have a good personality your inner beauty shines right through. Never tell yourself your ugly because everybodies pretty in there own way. =^.^= By:A girl who knows!

boys, boys, BOYS!

Earlier In my school year I thought no one had a crush on me! Yes I was popular and I was friends with ALMOST all the pop girls. I still felt left out when it came to which boy liked me. The same thing has happens at my school “boys crushing on the same skinny preppy girls.” It drives me nuts, but the thing is I’ve changed for a boy before and it didn’t turn out the way I’d expected/wanted it to be. It turns out, when I started to act like me, (which is actually kind of preppy) I got more boys’ attention, and even secret admirer notes. Still be yourself and don’t change the way you are. Who knows one day you will find your match! Good luck!

BOYS!!!!

ok that is so not true i bet you could find about 1 or 2 boys that like you! I’m not tall, or blonde either but I’ve found 2 guys who like me! So hold on 1 day a boy might walk up to you and says he really likes you!!

Thanks!!

I realized that a lot of guys liked me and maybe more than i know of. I am a blond who wears “in” clothes and maybe I should start being more kind towards other girls I guess i should encourage everyone to like the inside of people and not the out thank u DG magazine!!!!

Boy's aren't everything!

I think that there are a couple of boys that like you at your school but don’t want to say! I also think that as long as you’re happy with yourself that boys don’t mean so much!

wait

You don’t need to change the way you look just for a boy. You may know that they might not “like like” you, but they could end up being your friend if you get to know what they like. You never know, someday, you WILL find your special guy!

Boy Issues

My friend sent me this and I love it! I think it is so true! Girls are like apples on a tree. The best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys don’t want to reach for the good ones because they’re afraid of getting hurt. Instead,they just reach for the rotten apples from the ground. So the apples on top think that there is something wrong with them but in reality they’re amazing. We just have to wait for the right guy to come along, the one whos brave enough to climb to the top of the tree. I hope it is helpful!