My Boy BFF Had a Crush on Me!
By Josie, age 12, Ontario
When I met Josh,* I felt like I’d found a real friend. We were on the same bus, we played soccer at recess, and he taught me how to beat the hardest levels of video games. I could tell him almost anything and he would listen. I really valued our friendship.
Josh wasn’t the most popular person at school. I’d heard rumors that he was mean sometimes, but I never really believed them. And people teased him and hurt him constantly, which made me feel really bad. I always stuck up for him, even when it was my own friends teasing him.
“Your Perfect Love Match”
One day we were on the bus, laughing and having fun, when two girls pulled me away from Josh. They said they’d found my perfect love match—Josh! Everyone on the bus heard. All of a sudden, they burst out laughing!
Soon my whole class was making fun of us! Every time Josh and I talked, they’d make kissy faces and laugh. They put together a list of all the reasons we should go out. Even my friends told me to go out with him. It was terrible!
I knew, though, that I didn’t like Josh that way and he didn’t like me, either. Soon everyone would get tired of their stupid little game, and things would go back to normal. I was sure of it.
Then one night we were online, and Josh asked why my friends were trying to force us together. “They aren’t my friends,” I said, feeling bitter. “Just ignore them.”
“Well…maybe we should go out,” Josh said.
What?! All of a sudden I had a big knot in my stomach. “What are you saying?” I asked.
His answer shocked me. “I like you. A lot. Will you go out with me?”
I couldn’t believe it! He had liked me all this time, and never said anything? Of course, this wouldn’t be a big deal if I liked him too, but…I didn’t. He wanted an answer, so I told him I didn’t want to risk messing up our friendship. He said okay, that we’d just be friends, and signed off.
So Confused!
Josh still kept asking me out, though—for days. Then suddenly, everyone at school knew—and they were all talking about it! For a week, I couldn’t eat or sleep. It seemed like every minute, either Josh was asking me out, or people were pressuring me to say yes. I was so confused! Should I say yes and be sad? Or say no and risk losing his friendship? I started to wonder if a boy and a girl can ever be “just friends…?”
Finally I realized that I’d never told Josh clearly that I did not see him as a boyfriend. I’d always come up with an excuse like “My mom won’t let me date,” or “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” I'd been trying not to hurt his feelings, but he wasn't getting the message.
We met at the park after school that day, and I told Josh that his friendship was very important to me but that I just didn’t have a crush on him. He looked sad, but he said we could be just friends. I was so happy!
The Friendship Ends
My happiness didn’t last, though. I saw Josh less and less, and when he was around, he’d tease me, call me rude names, and make up rumors about me. One time he even kicked me in the back really hard!
For a while I was really upset. I’d honestly thought that things would go back to normal between us, but instead, I'd lost one of my best friends.
Maybe things could have been different with Josh. I I know that he acted pretty mean, but think about it: He was rejected in front of our whole class after everyone spent weeks saying I should go out with him. How humiliating! That would bring out anybody’s mean side.
I knew it was partly my fault, too. Maybe if I’d just told him the truth from the start, all the gossip would have stopped sooner, and we’d have had a chance at being friends again.
Since then, I’ve become really close friends with other guys, so I still believe it’s possible to have boy friends who are “just” friends. I guess there’s always a chance that things might get awkward if he gets a crush on you (or you on him!). But if that ever happens to me again, I know one thing: I’ll make my feelings clear from the start. It’s the only way to be fair to your guy friend—and be true to yourself, too.
*All names, including the author’s, have been changed.
